When he looks at me and nods, his mouth sags in a forlorn frown. “You ask too much of me. You’re asking me to put that which I hold most dear at risk. By asking me to help you prepare, you put thoughts in my head of you having tousethe spells I teach you. I hate this. I hate every minute of it.”
“I do too,” I murmur. “But this is my choice, and I choose to fight.”
“Then we start immediately.”
CHAPTER20
Istudy hard and train even harder, pushing myself all day and then all night, determined to succeed, determined to survive and escape without Rad’s bite on my neck. Ian works me hard, both in the classroom and out of it, but there’s friction between us.
By day, we’re forced to sneak around, hiding our love lest someone find out about us. Every session of Intermediate Casting is a unique torture, but that isn’t the only thing causing the discord that seems to hold us apart.
He still doesn’t want me going home for Yule, and I’m still stinging from his refusal to allow me to make my own choice. I’ve been allowed to choose so few things in my life, and Ian knows that. He knows that every bit of my freedom could be taken from me in an instant. Him thinking he canletme do anything and me refusing to bow to him has created a gulf between us that no amount of sweet kisses can seem to close.
Still, I seek comfort in his arms. Late in the night when my fears keep me awake, I’ll snuggle into his embrace, and he’ll hold me until I finally find sleep. And then, when morning dawns, he leaves before I do so we won’t be seen arriving at campus at the same time.
I hate it. I hate the distance between us, and I hate having to sneak around.
And it’s no truer than when a grim announcement comes during our Wednesday morning class.
We’re in the practical portion of our class session when a murmur spreads through the class.
“Miss Bowen, you’re not allowed to have your phone out in class.”
“But Professor Reinhardt, you need to see this.”
She hands him her phone, and he stares at the screen for a long moment. As he reads whatever she’s shown him, other students draw out their phones.
Alyssa sets hers between us with a grim expression on her face.
The headline on the news article reads, “Omega rehabilitation center attacked, all residents taken.”
I scan down the article until a knot lodges in my throat.A previously unknown entity, calling himself Baphomet’s Prince, has taken credit for this morning’s attack. No trace of the omega residents has been found yet.
I look up sharply and meet Ian’s blazing blue eyes across the classroom.
But I can’t go to him. He can’t take me into his arms and banish my fears, not here in the middle of class.
The most he can do is mouth “I love you”to me and call the class back to order.
It’s the smallest scrap of comfort. Not nearly enough.
I feel myself slipping deeper into an ocean of despair.
The acts of terror never cease. We never get to catch our breaths, never get to heal. We’re struck by wave after wave of violence and horror until all we can do is let it pull us under, let it drown us in its depths. It’s crushing and suffocating, but this is how the world changes: terrors upon terrors inure us to the atrocities carried out until despondency becomes a way of life. People are stolen, tortured, and killed in the fight against terror. We’re battered by their suffering and our own until all of it turns into noise, static. Another day, another devastation. A grim reality we must all live with.
Until there is no one left to fight back.
I don’t know much about omega rehabilitation centers, but I know many of them house up to a hundred omegas, and if Baphomet’s Prince has stolen a hundred omegas, then he’s building his army already. Even an omega without an affinity can fight when she’s forced to by the collar around her neck. Even an omega without an affinity can kill.
Imustfind out who the mysterious Baphomet’s Prince is. Even if I have to risk my life and freedom to do it.
* * *
Leigh frownsat me when I take my seat in Omega Seminar that evening, studying the faint bruises left on my skin.
“You’ve had an ordeal,” she says softly.
I nod.
