“Worn out. Scared.”
“You’ve been scared for a while now.”
It’s not a question, but I nod anyway.
“You can always confide in me, Juniper. And the rest of your men. Ian believed you, didn’t he?”
“He did.”
“The resistance might not have. Even the headmaster may not have taken you at your word, but wealwayswill. Even when it might crush us.”
Saints, him saying “us” makes my belly flip. But then I think of all the things I kept from Marcus when I was struggling to call my magic, when Rad was stalking me. When I thought it was best if I handled it myself. I curl tighter in the armchair, wishing I could make myself so small I’d vanish.
“If you don’t trust in me, trust in Ian. In Luca and Simon. In Cassian.”
“I do trust you,” I murmur. “But I’ll try to be more open.”
“Try to get some rest, sweet-tart,” he says, then ruffles my hair.
The gesture is so affectionate, soeasy, that my heart squeezes in my chest.
“I will,” I promise.
I slide in with Ian sometime in the middle of the night, tucking myself carefully against his side in the narrow bed. I pull the thin infirmary blanket up to our chins and cuddle against him. And I weep into the sheets because he’s going to live.
My brilliant, imperious, arrogant, kind, loving alpha is going to live.
* * *
Mai is goingto kill my brilliant, imperious, arrogant, kind, loving alpha. The omega healer draws Ian out of the magically induced coma the next morning. He wakes two days later, weak and shaking, and immediately tries to get out of the narrow hospital bed.
Mai gives one firm tug on his arm, and he drops back to the edge of the bed. “Just where do you think you’re going?”
“To find Cadigan.” He tries to stand again, but she gently shoves him back down.
“The last time you did that, it didn’t turn out well for you. Ian, you damn neardied. Get your ass back in that bed before I put you back in a fucking coma.” She stamps her foot and glares at him, and finally, he swings his long legs back into the bed and lets her cover him back up with the thin blanket.
I step out of the doorway to the hospital’s nest where I’d been checking in on Bitsy and slowly approach the bed.
“This incredibly talented young mage saved your life,” Doc all but growls. “Your heart nearly gave out.”
She grouses the entire time she examines him. She listens to his heart through her stethoscope for what seems like an eternity, but can’t be more than thirty seconds. Eventually, she nods to herself and pockets the stethoscope. “Rest, Ian. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d put you back in a coma. You’re weak still. Healing will take time.”
She leaves us, and I hesitate before approaching the bed.
“What were you thinking, going after him by yourself?” I ask quietly. I want to be irritated like Doc, but I’m too relieved to feel even an ounce of ire. But I need to knowwhy.
He closes his eyes, his dark lashes fanning across his strong cheekbones. “I wasn’t. He wanted to hurt you, and I couldn’t let that happen. I wasn’t myself.”
“You were still in frenzy,” I realize, sitting in the chair beside his bed and taking one of his hands. “We should have gone to the headmaster’s office with you.”
“I might have ended up there if you had,” he admits. “What’s become of Cadigan?”
I shake my head helplessly. “He fled immediately after hexing you. He couldn’t have had more than a few minutes’ head start, but he all but disappeared. Graeme has been trying to track him down, but nothing yet. He didn’t return to his house, and his car hasn’t been touched. Graeme’s best guess is that he used mage tech to avoid detection, and that the Soldiers or Rad have him in hiding somewhere. I’m… I’m sorry it was him, Ian. Saints know, I didn’t want it to be.”
“No, my darling. I’m sorry I gave you reason to think I wouldn’t believe you.”
“It was foolish and cowardly of me,” I admit, ducking my head.
