Willow steals a glance at me as she drives back to Rose Manor, but I pretend not to notice. I cling to Luca’s words, trying to numb the pain of the wounds Rad inflicted with just a few thoughts.
Finally, Willow digs her phone out of her bag, unlocks it and taps into a food ordering app.
“You barely ate with Radcliffe.”
“I lost my appetite after some of the things he said.” And thought.
My older sister winces, sparing me another quick glance before turning her attention back to the road. “Go ahead. Order whatever you’d like, and we’ll pick it up on the way home.”
I scroll aimlessly through the app, trying to ignore the opportunity holding her phone presents. What could I find out about Rose Pharmaceuticals or even Project Halcyon if I went through her text messages? If I loaded up her email and sifted through it?
Though I wouldn’t say that Willow’s beenkindto me, she has been less cold toward me than usual. My sister and I have never been close. Ten years my senior, she was already at Fairhaven while I was still in primary school and was working for our father by the time I hit my teens. By the time my designation revealed when I was sixteen, she was enmeshed in my father’s affairs—and his plot to lock my magic away.
And yet, I can’t bring myself to snoop through her phone. I tell myself it’d be too easy for Willow to catch me, that the consequences of being caught would be too severe, but my reluctance stems from something deeper, something I can barely put into words. As valuable as the information could be, Willow’s sympathy could be far more valuable.
I sigh and flick through a few options in the app before finally landing on a burger joint.
“Want anything from Burger Bar? You worked through lunch and didn’t eat anything either.”
“Oh, saints, I haven’t had Burger Bar in ages. Yeah, get me a chocolate peanut butter shake and some fries.”
I tap in our order, ordering myself a burger, fries and a strawberry shake, and then lock Willow’s phone and hand it back to her.
* * *
Willow surprisesme by driving to the beach as soon as I have the grease-stained bag in my lap. She parks so we can watch the waves crashing against the shore and then surprises me again when she pops the lid off her shake and dunks a few fries in it.
I’ve never seen her do something so unrefined. Sohuman.
“Where’d you learn to do that?” I ask, bemused.
“Mom used to do it,” she says around a mouthful of fries.
Mom. Willow and I have never talked about her before. No one in my family said much about my mother after she left with her other alphas, abandoning my brothers, sister and me to our father’s care.
“I barely remember her,” I admit, dunking a few fries in my own shake. “But I remember this. I learned it from her, too.”
Willow looks out across the waves and sighs. “You know, I blamed you for her leaving. For the longest time, I was sure it was your fault.”
“Her and Father fought a lot,” I murmur. That much, I do remember. I barely remember her other alphas, if they stood by her side as her relationship with my father fell apart, but I remember the fights.
Willow eyes me and sighs. “They fought about you. All the time. I think they both suspected you’d turn out to be an omega like Mom. They had different opinions about how you should be raised.”
“I guess Father prevailed in the end.”
“I guess he did.” Willow’s quiet for a moment and then scowls. “She should have stuck it out for us. Fuck, she could have stayed in contact with me and Aspen, at least. We were old enough to understand, even if you and Hawthorn weren’t. I just… What kind of mother abandons her children like that?”
I sigh and sink low in the bucket seat of Willow’s sports car. I don’t know the answers to her questions because I remember so little about our mother. I remember how her glittery hazel eyes would crinkle when she’d laugh, how she’d pretend to sneak junk food while Father humored her with an exasperated smile. I remember how his smiles fell when they fought, their raised voices carrying from my father’s study or from my mother’s nest. How she’d sneak into my room, curling around me in my bed, holding me close when tears stained her face.
“Is that why you wished I wasn’t part of the family? Because you thought Mom left because of me?”
Willow shoves her shake into the cup holder and turns to face me, her blue eyes sharp. “I wish you weren’t part of this family because this family is poison. You don’t deserve what’s been done to you. What Father has done—and will do—to you.”
My throat burns and I swallow down the thick knot of emotion with a wince. “Wh-what are you saying?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not sure I even know. I suppose I've realized I was wrong about a few things.” She tucks a strand of blond hair behind her ear and works her lower lip between her teeth. “I resented you because you revealed as an omega. It's what I always wanted when I was a child. To be an omega. To have a pack. To be a mother. When you got what I wanted, I hated you. Then I saw what being an omega meant for you. And who Father intends for you to mate.”
I crumple the wrapper around the last few bites of my burger and shove it back in the bag, my appetite lost once again. “He wasn't supposed to solicit alphas for my mating contracts until I graduated.”
