“What happened to those omegas,” I whisper to my mate. “It’s my greatest fear. To be that helpless as I lose everyone who matters to me.”
“I know,” Cassian says quietly. “It’s my greatest fear, too.”
“We can’t beat them,” I say. “This… this vendetta I have against Rad and my father, I’ll never win, and all I’m doing is risking all of you. It’s selfish.”
“Shh, love. We all know it’s more than a vendetta. This may be about Rad, to an extent, but I think it’s more about all those omegas he has in that damn facility of his. It’s all those omegas who attacked our academy and were left for dead. That’s not a vendetta, Juniper. That’s having the biggest heart of anyone I know. You’d do anything to save those omegas, even if it gives your long-suffering alphas heart attacks.”
I smile faintly at that. In the past, I haven’t gone seeking out danger, but enough of it has found me still.
“Come on, love. Graeme and I will make you a cup of tea. I think you should tell them about the six sigils you caught from Rad. Maybe they’ll be able to make sense of them.”
I nod against Cassian, and he helps me back to the kitchen. I go on shaking legs, touching each of my men before I sit down. They’re still here with me.
What befell all of those poor omegas on the Feast of Saint Jasper didn’t happen to me.
But it could have.
Luca could have been staying in his dorm.
Saints, we have to end this. Rad. The Soldiers.
“I found out something over Yule, from Andrew Radcliffe.” I meet Graeme’s eyes, so he knows just how I found out the information, and he gives me a short nod of understanding. “I overheard Rad and my brother talking about something related to the lab or Project Halcyon. There were six sigils Rad mentioned and we—” I gesture around the table to my men “—haven’t been able to figure it out. We know it’s not a whole spell, but it could be part of one.”
Or it could be nothing, I suddenly realize.
A red herring.
Saints, Rad could have tricked me. It wouldn’t be the first time he forced a thought into my head.
The one piece of evidence we have, and it might not be true at all.
* * *
The moodin the pack house is somber after the Saint Jasper slayings. We’ve made no more progress on the six sigils or in finding the facility. I’m troubled by the omegas trapped in Rad’s secret facility, and by the omegas the Soldiers bound in omega traps, forced to watch their mates die.
I dream of both most nights, and often wake in a cold sweat, and it takes all my men to lull me back to sleep.
It isn’t just the nightmares that drag me down. Knowing Rad could strike back, could retaliate at any time, has me doing what I’ve done so many times before. In the face of evil and hardship, I make myself small. I take a step back from the world around me and throw myself into my coursework and training. My men embrace my training because it keeps me from withdrawing from them entirely, as my instincts tell me to do.
When I’m not working with Ian on my affinity, or Cassian on my combat magic, I train in self defense with Marcus—six days a week instead of the four he insisted upon. I’d train every day, but he insists I take at least one day a week to rest.
We never speak of the moment we shared before term began.
Slowly, I get stronger, both in body and magic, and everything I learn feels like a blessing and not enough all at once.
Omegas are forbidden from learning combat magic; being defenseless keeps us docile. So, while I’m learning what no other omega learns, it doesn’t feel like enough for what’s coming. I think of all the other omegas that will never get to learn the things I do, and I mention it to Ian one evening after we’ve finished affinity training for the night.
“Every omega should know how to escape an omega trap,” I murmur, sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs up to the kitchen.
Ian sighs and sits down beside me. “That might be an impossible ask, my darling. Few know how to cast the spell, and rightly so, and not all omegas are as tough as you are. Some would balk at going through what you went through to learn. Saints, we don’t even know if it’s possible without blood magic.”
“We could find that out.”
He grimaces. “You know I hate to hurt you, Juniper.”
“It’s not hurting me if it could save my life again. Okay, so maybe not every omega, but would you help me teach my friends if they want to learn? And help me with some of the omegas in the resistance?”
He screws up his lips in a frown and finally nods. “I will, but I’ll only help you teach your friends if the headmaster permits it. And if we prove it can be done without blood magic. Blood magic is not to be trifled with.”
