His lips curl in a small smile and he shrugs.
Saints above, my heart shouldn’t swell the way it does right now.
“Anyway, I think the ember is stable for the three of us, for want of a better word. For now, at least. It’s a guess, and I hate having more guesses than certainties. But you’re right: we have a place to start. And a lot of ledgers to sort through. I’m going to write you a list of vocabulary to prioritize. Get it on your flashcards as soon as possible.”
“Everyone needs to stop knocking my flashcards,” I mutter.
“I’m not ‘knocking’ your flashcards.” He pulls the center drawer of his desk open, and I’m treated to the sight of hundreds of white index cards, all bound together in rubber bands, covered in his small, spidery print. “Just your color coding.”
Bastard.
Bastard I’m crushing harder on by the day, especially as I find out he has a sweet tooth just like mine and a proclivity for index cards.
* * *
“So-o,”Ellie says as I try to sneak out of Café Ciel without her noticing. “What were you and the good professor discussing?”
“Oh, I’m just helping him with some research in addition to the extra lessons he’s giving me to help me get caught up.”
Ellie rolls her hazel eyes. “You’re beyond caught up, Junie.” Her smirk dips into a frown. “Though I guess you need to be with all the shit you’re facing. Hey, ready for Yule? I’m out of here in fifteen minutes and thought we could walk back together.”
“Only if you make me one of the usual,” I say, smirking right back at her.
“You already had one!”
“I am addicted, and I will tip you.”
“Swear to the saints, if I hit the sweets like you and my brother do, no amount of Pilates would keep this all tight. All right, fine. Rot your teeth out if you wish.”
* * *
“So,I hate to do this to you again,” Ellie says, “but that drink was a bribe because we need to talk about my brother again.”
Oh saints.
“Ellie, he rejected me.”
“Yeah, the thing we need to talk about is how he’s an idiot who puts literally everyone before himself, all the time. He’s done it with me my whole life. Always watching out for me, especially when he should have been watching out for himself.”
“He’s a good brother.”
“He is. And he’s got literal rocks for brains. Look, I was going to let him tell you all this, but it’s just as much my story as his. You know Simon’s only my half-brother, right? I mean, I have an omega mom and had an alpha dad. Simon’s mom’s a beta woman who never wanted a child. My mom raised Simon like he was her own, and even though he’s ‘just’ my half-brother, he’s been the best brother I could ever imagine. Simon basically kept me from ending up a ward of the state or packed up before I even graduated high school.” She ducks her head, watching her boots slip through the slush on the sidewalk. “My dad was my legal guardian, even during his time in prison. We applied to transfer guardianship to my mother, but she’s an omega and our application was denied. When my father died in prison, I would have become a ward of the state. You have to understand, I had my acceptance to Fairhaven and a scholarship waiting for me at that point. Our dad, he wasn’t a good man, and I don’t think either of us mourned him, but I stood to lose so much. Simon and I had all these dreams of being at Fairhaven together—and he had dreams for me.”
“Oh saints, Ellie. I had no idea.”
“Not many do. You, Bitsy, Simon, my honor guard, and a few others know the truth, but it isn’t something we tell many people.”
“But you ended up here.”
“That’s all on Simon. My family wouldn’t have been able to afford an honor guard for me and he nearly dropped out to work so he could support me. Can you imagine what a waste that would have been? He’s a freaking genius, Junie. But he wanted more for me than just getting packed up and knocked up. And I got it. I owe it all to him. I’m protected from the state, and I’m protected by Jace here at Fairhaven. All because Simon made sacrifices. And I know he’ll do the same for you.”
“I would never ask—”
“You wouldn’t have to.”
I sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. I just… Ellie, I don’t get it. Is he doing this for you? Who’s he trying to protect?”
“You, Juniper. He’s trying to protectyou. From himself. He doesn’t want to disappoint you or break your heart. It’d kill him to hurt you.”
