“About time. Luca is here to talk to you. And you’re going to listen to everything he has to say.”
I shove back from the table, the wooden legs of my chair scraping across the wooden floor, and turn on Cassian, scowling.
“No,” I tell him. “You don’t get to do shit like this. My personal life is none of your business.”
“Sit, Juniper,” he demands, infusing the words with alpha command.
I resist, staring up at him impudently, but I can feel his dominance washing over me, can feel how much my mind and body want to give into his command, want to appease the imposing alpha. And yet, part of me feels like I could shake off the command. Which is… which is unheard of. Omegas don’t resist alpha commands. But then, omegas don’t have magic as strong as mine, magic so strong their fathers lock it out of fear.
In the end, I don’t resist. I glare and then turn away, taking my seat again so I can hide the way my face falls when I see him.
Luca.
The alpha who made me a nest and purred while holding me in his arms, who lied to me for months. I’ve dreaded this moment as much as I’ve yearned for it.
He’s leaner than before, the consequence of skipping meals in favor of cigarettes and coffee, the consequence of carrying a heavy burden. He looks beaten down, and that’s a feeling I understand all too well. Every harsh word I had on the tip of my tongue turns to ash in my mouth as I take him in.
His ripe-cherries-and-red-wine scent floods the room, my senses, too familiar and too much. Too tempting. Saints, how I’ve missed him despite his lies, his betrayal.
“You don’t have to, Juniper—” Luca begins, his voice scratchy. He slouches against the far wall of the study room, trying to make himself small, non-threatening.
“Talk to her,” Cassian demands.
I look over my shoulder and find Cassian leaning against the door behind me, arms folded across his chest, his expression thunderous.
“Then leave,” I tell him. Saints, how did I ever love this alpha? “This is none of your fucking business, Cassian.”
“You’re my fucking business,” he snarls, then waves at Luca.
I’ve only just started reeling from that declaration when Luca starts to speak in a voice rough from disuse.
“What I’m about to say, prin—Juniper, it doesn’t have to change things. You want nothing to do with me and I understand that. Believe me.” He sighs and glances up at me, but there’s no hope in his sea-green eyes. “But all of this… it’s not what you think.”
Is nothing what I think anymore? It’s the same refrain he tried to make me believe when he caught me outside St. Briac’s Hall, the words I’ve been foolishly hoping were true since the first time he said them. Stupid, naive omega, ready to forgive the alpha who destroyed me.
“Tell me one thing. Tell me you weren’t among the alphas that attacked me on move-in day.” Please, I beg the saints, let him not have been with Rad the day an omega trap shredded scars into my skin—scars he would later kiss—the day a vile alpha held a scribe to my throat and promised the end of all omegas.
He looks up sharply and I see his face clearly for the first time. Gaunt. Pale. His eyes are wide, and he anxiously scrubs a hand through his blond hair. “I wasn’t. I swear. I would never—could never—hurt you.”
Relief is like a riptide, pulling me under, dragging me down faster the more I struggle. The more I fight, the faster I drown, but still I fight. Because hedidhurt me. He made me love him and then he betrayed me. “Then what? Why do you have that mask?” Fuck, can he hear the tears in my voice? The way my throat burns with them?
“I’ve been meeting with the Soldiers of Saint Aldous in secret, that much is true and I won’t deny it, but Juniper… I’ve been spying on them.”
My heart kicks in my chest, coming to life after being broken for so very long. “Wh-what? How?”
He looks away, rubbing at his stubbled jaw. “Everything is anonymous, scents hidden behind magic and identities hidden behind masks. Outside the meetings, they communicate through encrypted apps and burner phones.” He slouches a bit lower, his frown sinking creases into his forehead. “No names, no faces. If you have a mask, it’s not hard to pass.”
“Why?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “My guess is that they don’t trust each other enough to reveal who they are. They could be brought down too easily if someone knew who they were and ratted them out. But that goes both ways. It’s allowed me to sneak into their meetings…” He looks back up at me and swallows hard, his throat moving. “You must believe me. I never had any intention of putting that fucking mask back on. Not until you told me you were the one they attacked. I was… I was senseless with rage after that. Dangerous and destructive. And then I remembered the mask. I’ve told you before, Juniper. I can’t protect you the way other alphas can. I don’t have money or influence. No power. But this… I could do this. I could sneak around in the shadows and try to find out what they were planning. If I found out about an attack, I could warn you. Warn Marcus, the headmaster, shit. I don’t know.”
I drop my head into my hands, eyes stinging. All this time, I’ve believed the worst, but he only put the mask on for me? He put himself in danger, associated with the vilest of alphas… all forme. “Why did you have the mask in the first place?” I ask quietly.
He ducks his head and doesn’t speak for a moment. When he finally does, his voice is tight, strained. “My release from prison and my admission to Fairhaven were secured by an anonymous benefactor. The day I was released, I was picked up in a dark car and told what I’d have to do if I didn’t want to go back to prison.” He closes his eyes tightly and shakes his head. “He told me all I had to do was wear a mask and scare some people during the big All Saints’ Day parade in New York. I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone. Just scare them. Smash a few windows.”
I remember that parade, the terror it struck in my heart as I watched it from above, safely tucked away in my father’s office at the headquarters of Rose Pharmaceuticals. Away from the chaos, the screaming, and the stampeding. Hundreds of people in masks wreaked havoc, instilled fear in the hearts of omegas around the world. But I was safe, protected by a rich powerful alpha, just as I have always been. Just as I always will be if my father gets his way.
“You kept the mask.” Saints, how I wish he had burned it back then.
