“When he lets me,” Cassian admits with a rueful smile. “But Juniper, you must understand, I didn’t mate him just to take care of him.”
“He thought you did.”
“And I will keep convincing him otherwise until he believes me.”
“Do,” I tell him. “He deserves it.”
We wind our way around the low hill and before I know it, we’re standing beneath the bell tower as cherry blossom petals fall down around us like snow.
“You never came that night. On the Feast of Saint Valentine,” I say, looking up at the old stone bell tower.
“I did,” he says quietly. “But I saw how happy he was—how happyyouwere—and I couldn’t bring myself to destroy that happiness. You may not believe me, but your safety and your happiness matter to me just as much as his do. I may have fallen in love with Simon, but that doesn’t mean I fell out of love with you. I was angry at your rejection, but I was angrier still at myself—because I couldn’t bring myself to hate you.”
“You were in love with me back then?” My voice is strained, a knot burning in my throat.
“Desperately, and I never stopped. I didn’t think anything could part us, but I didn’t count on the cruelty of your father.”
“Neither did I,” I say quietly.
For a few moments, we watch the petals fall, staring out over campus together, not knowing quite what to say. I want to tell him I loved him too, that part of me still does and always will. I want to let out a soft omega whine and for his alpha to respond. I want to see what we could become. Saints, I want to see what thethreeof us could become.
“I have something for you.” He draws his keys out of his pocket and works one of them off the keyring before placing it in my hand.
“Key to your heart?” I shoot him a bemused frown and then study the key. It’s an ordinary house key, but it buzzes with magic.
“You already have that,” Cassian murmurs, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes as he ducks to hide a blush. “No, this is a key to the townhouse I just closed on. Simon and I were going to get a place of our own at some point, but in light of recent events, he said he’d feel safer off campus—and he’d feel safer if you weren’t on campus either. You don’t have to move-in, but when I told Simon I was calling my realtor, he insisted I find somewhere with a nest. Somewhere you could feel safe, somewhere you could go if you ever needed it. The warding and physical security are state of the art, and there’s remote underground garage access. But if there’s anything you need to make it feel safer, tell me. The only thing I give a damn about anymore is keeping you two safe.”
My heart squeezes tight in my chest and I reach over and uncurl Cassian’s fist before twining my fingers with his. “Thank you, Cass. Truly.”
Cassian sighs and looks out over the campus, but all I see is him. An alpha who burns himself to ash to keep those he loves safe. Who would do anything if it meant our happiness. “What happens between us now?”
He looks up sharply. “What happens between us now is whatever youwantto happen between us. You want me to throw myself at your feet and beg for forgiveness for what a jackass I’ve been? I’ll do it every day. Twice on Sundays.”
“Once on Sundays will probably suffice,” I tease. “If you make it really good groveling.” I take a deep breath and then tug him closer by the front of his tee shirt. “I don’t want to start over,” I tell him. “But I want to start again.”
Hope flickers in those smoky quartz eyes of his, those eyes I’ve always been able to lose myself in. And then I kiss him. I kiss Cassian Leclerc under the Fairhaven bell tower, knowing it means forever.
Wanting it to mean forever.
And wanting it to mean pack.
CHAPTER40
Simon, Cassian, and I are given concessions for our finals: open book for the theoretical, extra time for the practical, but we each turn down the offer. We spent so much time studying together in the infirmary that I already know half of what’s ontheirfinals as well as what to expect on my own. And besides, finals arenormal, something we’re all desperate for.
Our normal study group moves from Ciel to the infirmary, cardboard coffee carriers in their hands, and once bribed with a caramel cold brew, Doc doesn’t have the heart to kick anyone out. In her down time, she quizzes Alyssa and I on our Restorative Magic spells and potions relentlessly until I’m sure we’ll both ace her final.
It’s Ian’s final I find myself most worried about—not because of the material, but because I haven’t been able to catch him alone for more than a few minutes since we last met outside the infirmary. I’ve been spending all my time with Simon, and Ian’s only come by to check on the ember of dark magic in Simon’s chest, left behind from Rad’s torture—stable, for now, like his, Cassian’s and Marcus’.
I did catch him on a whim. My own research on the ember has come to a halt without the benefit of the books in his office, but I have a shot in the dark idea Ihopecan help the suffering alphas and my sweet beta.
“Could you use something like the spell that locked my magic to lock away the ember? At least until you can figure out how to destroy it?”
He frowns, working his lower lip between his teeth. “If that wasn’t such a compelling idea, I might think you were trying to get me arrested. Tackling illegal magic with more illegal magic, making me cast banned hexes on you…”
“What can I say?” I ask, rolling my eyes. “I have an appetite for danger.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t, but you seem to be a beacon for it. But you’re clever, courageous, and we willallfight with you and for you.”
