“I’m sure, but don’t make it a prescription,” he said. “It might strip the joy.”
“Hey, I’m the counselor here.” But I offered him a rueful grin. “Thank you.”
I was just turning to leave when Austin gasped and I looked to see at what. A little next to him, wearing an elf onesie had picked his ornament up and about a pound of glitter slid into his lap. “I didn’t glue it!” he groaned, looking so dismayed that I wanted to hug him and comfort him. But I’d never met him before, and the monitor for the activity was already helping him. So I left all the holiday happiness behind and went home to my lonely apartment.
Chapter Four
Gunnar
Picking which item to gift first was easy. I’d been at Chained when Hudson and Bridger decided to do their undercover mission of getting me all of Vaughn’s favorites. When Hudson came up with the plan, I didn’t think there was any way they could pull it off without it being awkward and weird, but they made a game of it with their other friends, who I didn’t think were in on it. At least Hudson never said they were, and I never asked.
It was embarrassing enough that I was doing this—buying gifts for a stranger because he looked sad. I didn’t need the world knowing about it. Besides, the more people who knew, the more likely it was Vaughn would find out, and there was no way of having me not seem creepy after that reveal.
Chained was having a fundraiser for foster children who aged out of the system, and the place was packed. I hadn’t meant to be close enough to Hudson and crew to know what was happening, but Scottie and I didn’t have much of a choice. We’d underestimated the crowds, and two seats together were rare.
Scottie had stopped in for just a short while to place a bid and leave. He already had plans for the night, but, like me, he thought the event was important and made the effort. My initial thought was that I’d come, hang out with Scottie, and leave when he did. That was until I saw Vaughn with his friends. I ended up staying and doing crafts in the little room. Vaughn was there, but I worked hard and focused on my own play, not wanting to disrupt his time there any more than the stupid intel game Hudson came up with already had.
But as I sat at home later that night trying to make a plan while combing the glitter out of my hair my shower failed todislodge, I kept seeing the image of him and his friends. The way his face lit up when he was talking about Chris’s Smokehouse was exactly what I’d hoped to bring to him this Christmas. He even mimed eating the burger, which was the only way I knew which part of the conversation they were on. Once I got the list, it was easy peasy to know exactly where to begin. Game on.
The question was how to get it to him. I didn’t want to be caught—not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I wasn’t going to reveal this to him. It was just a way to cheer him up. Nothing more.
When I looked at most of the delivery apps, either the restaurant wasn’t on them, or they were ones that would give him a receipt with my name on it. And I knew if I got food from someone I didn’t know, it would be kind of creepy. So instead, I hired Ike to deliver it.
Ike was a cousin of the manager of my office, and he’d done some deliveries for the office in the past. It was his way of making some pocket change while finishing college. He was famous for delivering via skateboard, even though it was a snowy, icy mess and they weren’t allowed on the sidewalks, but I didn’t argue. When I messaged him, he was an immediate yes, and he promised to get it there and not say a word as to who sent him, and that was good enough for me.
The hardest part of planning day one in Mission Secret Santa, was figuring out what to say. It’d be too easy to accidentally give something away. After spending over an hour overthinking it, I decided to go basic as I could:Enjoy your lunch,and signed it,Your Secret Santa.
I wanted to see his face when he got it the next workday, but that was selfish. This wasn’t about me; it was about him. Which was good because there was no way I could subtly be wandering his floor at the time of delivery to see exactly which office was hisand what he did there. All I had was the delivery addy, which was a suite number.Thank you, Bridger.
With day one organized and ready to go, I sighed and headed into the shower. The glitter was driving me absolutely bonkers. I’d already shampooed once and combed my hair with the smallest comb I had after it was dry. It was still everywhere. If I had a daddy, he’d help me get it out, but getting one would require me actually speaking to daddies, and it had been a long time since I put myself out there, even for a playdate.
I tried to ignore the image of Vaughn that flashed through my mind while washing my hair. It wasn’t easy. I needed to keep reminding myself, this Secret Santa mission wasn’t about finding a daddy.
In the nearly three years since I became aware of Vaughn, I’d never once thought of him in that way. Why the change now? Maybe it was seeing all the littles with their daddies tonight, or maybe it was Scottie reminding me how single I was while we shared a drink so close to the man. But, whatever it was, I needed to shut it right down. I refused to muddy the waters like that.
I washed my hair then washed it again, finally ending with a good conditioning, hoping that it would help the remains of the glitter slip out. I knew better. I was going to be finding that for a week. A lie. I was going to be finding it for months. The thing was, it was worth it. There was something about glitter that made doing crafts a thousand times more fun.
It was late and I needed to get some sleep, but my mind was going a mile a minute, which left me with two choices: stare at the ceiling for hours, or play. I supposed I could’ve done my laundry, but playing was definitely where it was at.
“Alvin, what should we do today?” I slid on my reindeer-hoodie-footie jams, the one that matched my slippers, and tookhim off my bed. “Should we color? Should we play blocks? Or maybe puzzles?”
I landed on puzzles. I had a whole shelf of them in my closet, most of them twenty-five pieces, some up to fifty. Nothing beyond that. They were relaxing to me, and, when I was done, I felt productive. I didn’t like the super-easy ones with twenty or fewer pieces in a wooden frame, sometimes as few as five. I preferred the ones where I dumped out the pieces and had to flip them around and find the borders before filling in. Something about the systematic approach helped me unwind, and, of course, Alvin was there to help.
I’d completed three puzzles, a dog, a train, and a beach, when I finally felt relaxed enough to go to bed. I climbed under the covers, held Alvin close, and closed my eyes. I’d planned on counting or doing my ABCs to help me get fully asleep, but I didn’t need to. Exhaustion overtook me almost instantly.
Chapter Five
Vaughn
“Your lunch is here.” The receptionist peeked in through my half-open door. “I didn’t know you ordered. I would have done it for you.”
“I didn’t… Are you sure it’s for me?” Our office was home to eight counselors with Sarah’s desk in the middle. “Ronnie orders out a lot.” The scent was already tickling my nose, though, and I hadn’t had breakfast. “What is it?”
“Looks like a burger and fries. And it’s definitely for you, there’s a note?” The question in her tone made sense. Who would send me a burger and a note?
“Let me see.” I took the package from her and pulled the note off. Sarah returned to the front office when I didn’t invite her to stay and hear what the note said. Sitting at my desk, I unfolded it and read.
Enjoy your lunch. Your Secret Santa.
