“You haven’t opened yours yet.” He pouted, a bit of adorable peeking through.
“You’re right!” I kissed him and tugged at the ribbon. “Before I do, I should thank you for all the perfect gifts you gave me. It really was you, all along?”
“That’s right! You were so fooled!”
“Okay, I’ll give you that. Now…let’s see what my Secret Santa’s last offering is.” The paper was sparkly, covered with old-fashioned Christmas ornaments. Just like our tree. My eyes puddled again. “I wonder what it could be?” A moment later, I knew. “This is perfect!” I set the photo in its frame on the coffee table and hugged him to me again. “When did you take this?”
He snuggled close, nuzzling my throat. “I didn’t. Hudson did.”
“How? He’s in the picture?”
“He set the camera on a timer over on the mantel. I wanted a memory of our first playdate here with our friends.”
“And our tree.” Our beautiful, homemade-ornament tree. “Let’s take one of just the two of us, as well. Dressed like tonight.”
“Yes.” He beamed at me. “You have the best ideas, Daddy.”
“Okay, now, your turn.” I set his present in his lap. “There’s no card.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Then he picked it up and held it in front of him. “This wrapping paper looks familiar. It’s just like the”—he gasped—“like my Secret Santa. Are you my Secret Santa Daddy?”
“I was so afraid you’d catch on. Hurry up and open it. I sure hope you like it.”
“I’ll love it, whatever it is.” He tore at the paper. “But I can’t wait to see. Oh!” Lifting the scarf from the wrapping, he unfolded it, stroking the soft yarn. “Daddy, it’s beautiful. Where did you find it? I think it matches…” He hopped up and ran over to the mantel where the snow globe he’d given me held pride of place. “Did Bridger crochet this for you to match?”
“No.” As my Gunnar wrapped the scarf around his neck several times, I crossed the room to join him. “If he had, it would be a much better job. But he did teach me to crochet, so I could make it for you.”
“Oh, Daddy.” Now, he had tears streaming down his cheeks. “You are my Secret Santa Daddy, and the best one ever. I love you.” He flung his arms around me and squeezed me tight. “I’m the luckiest boy in the world.”
“I’m the luckiest daddy, and I love you too.” I’d have had to be a lot stronger daddy than I was not to be shedding tears again. But these, the ones that moistened my cheeks tonight, were happy, healing tears. Thanks to my boy and the magic of Christmas.
Chapter Sixteen
Gunnar
One of my very favorite things about being little in December is Christmas morning. There is nothing I love more than waking up, falling in a little space, and enjoying the pure joy that is Christmas.But when doing it alone, there was always something missing. So, when Vaughn and I talked about what we wanted to do for Christmas, I said what I really wanted was to have a little Christmas—to wake up and just be little all morning.
Daddy immediately agreed.
I was so excited that I stayed up far too late, just staring at the ceiling, even with Daddy telling me stories of Santa coming down the chimney. It was nearly impossible to sleep…until I did. Once I crashed out, I crashed out hard. I didn’t even wake up till seven o’clock, which would be early on any other day of the year, but, on Christmas, that was certified sleeping in.
“Daddy?” I called. For some reason, it felt important that he give me permission to get up.
When he came in, he was wearing a Santa hat. Only it wasn’t red. It was green-and-white striped with a big bell at the end.
“Are you a new Santa?”
“Oh no. I’m one of Santa’s elves, and I came to give you the best Christmas ever.”
“Does that mean Santa came?” I bounced up and down on my knees.
“He did, and he even ate the chocolate chip cookie you left out for him.”
We did that in honor of Bron. I never wanted to be somebody who lived in the shadow of someone else’s past, but that’s not what this was or what we were doing. We were livingin our present, looking forward to our future, and honoring the ones we’ve lost.
“If Santa came, can I go look? Can I go look? Can I go look?”
He shook his head. “My sweet boy needs to be clean, with their teeth brushed, their bodies washed, and their brand-new Christmas pajamas on before they go out to open their presents.”
