I felt so safe. So cared for. So completely accepted.
As exhaustion pulled at me, my suckling started to slow down. The combination of the amazing sex, the emotional and physical release, and then the warm milk from his chest made it impossible to keep my eyes open.
Patrick pulled the covers over me and kissed the top of my head. "You can rest, baby. I've got you."
Moments later, I drifted off still connected to Patrick, drinking in slow pulls even as sleep claimed me.
8
ALLEN
My original plan had been to say goodbye after our naked fun. In so many ways, it felt like we were suddenly moving too fast, which was ridiculous, given the lightning speed we went the night we meant. We’d known each other exactly one hot minute before we ended up in the bathroom together letting all inhibitions go.
But that part of me wanted to slow down and “do things right,” whatever that meant. I really liked Patrick, and I wanted to make things last a little longer, and for some reason, I had convinced myself that going full speed ahead meant coming to the end quicker.
But everything changed when I was latched onto Patrick and he told me to rest. All fears of rushing things fell away. This was where I was meant to be. I didn’t even consider getting up after that.
So what if we were doing things in an unconventional way? What about our relationship was conventional? I liked to dress inonesies and drink his milk. He liked it when I called him Daddy. Nothing about that was your average, everyday vanilla couple.
But despite knowing all that, when I woke in the morning, I had a brief moment of panic. What if I’d pushed him too far too fast? What if things were going to be awkward now?
Before I even cracked my eyes open, he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Good morning.”
“How’d you know I was up?” My sleepy voice was not as clear as it normally was, and I repeated the words again, this time sounding more like myself.
“Your breathing changed.” He pressed another kiss against my skin. “But if you want to go back to sleep, that’s fine. I could stay here like this all day.”
Snuggled in his arms as his little spoon, I had to admit that I could too. But then I remembered he was a baker. Odds were good he didn’t just wake up and that he’d been up for hours. Bakers had hours that began well before the sun came up. “How long have you been up?”
“A while, but I’m content.”
“I am too. But also, could I maybe take a bath?” My skin felt crackly from the night before.
“Of course. Do you like bubbles?”
“Mmm.”
“How about Daddy goes and draws you a bath? I’ll dig around and maybe even find something for you to play with.”
That sounded delightful. I stayed in bed as he got up, and I shamelessly watched his naked form as he walked toward the bathroom.
I was in that happy spot, that place that wasn’t quite sleeping and wasn’t quite awake, just loving the way the morning felt. I’d been worried for nothing. Everything about the morning had been natural. There was nothing forced about it, nothing awkward. We were like a long-time couple in that way, despite how new everything was.
He came out of the bathroom, and I initially thought he was coming to get me, but the next thing I knew, he was heading toward the kitchen. When he came back, his hand was full of measuring cups and a small plastic bowl.
“These should do.” He waved me over. “Come, sweet boy. Let’s get you all cleaned up.”
He gave me some privacy to brush my teeth and to use the bathroom, but when it was time, he eased me into the warm, sudsy water and handed me a plastic bowl filled with the measuring cups.
At first, we used the measuring cups to scoop the bubbles and plop them in the bowl, my body easing into Little space easily. When the bowl was full, I poured it over.
“Daddy’s gonna have to wash your hair today, isn’t he?”
“Yes, Daddy, but play with me first.”
We turned the measuring cups into race boats, ducks, fishing nets, and at one point, even dinosaurs.
I couldn’t remember having that much Little fun in a tub. “I really like it when you play with me, Daddy.”
