A dangerous notion.
So dangerous.
He could leave Berlin tomorrow.
He could vanish like everything good in my life.
And I'd be standing in the ruins again, clutching nothing.
But God…
How I wanted to believe him. To believe this was more than a GI being kind for a week. More than attention. More than hunger dressed up as affection.
Then he kissed me. And something deep inside me cracked open like a frozen river breaking in spring. When he dropped to one knee—when I saw the velvet box—my entire world stopped. My heart screamed.
My mind screamed louder.This isn't real,it insisted.You don't know him. You don't know anything about him. He's American. He'll leave you. He'll leave Klaus. He'll break you.
But my heart—my stupid, desperate heart—beat so hard I thought I'd collapse.
Boom-boom-boom.
Gid-e-on.
Gid-e-on.
I didn't know anything about him. I knew that. But I also knew this: he had carried me out of danger. He had protected me when I froze. He had fed my brother, fed Axel, fed Hilde. He had patched our home. He had looked at me like I was worth something. When he hadn'tneeded to.
His voice shook as he spoke. And each word tore me further open:Warm. Strong. Giving.
The message was clear and oh-so-alluring:Let me take care of you.
No one had ever said anything like that to me. No one ever would again.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, hot and unstoppable, because for the first time since before the war, I felt like a girl in a fairy tale. Like maybe—just maybe—someone could choose me. Not out of need or hunger or cruelty.
But out of love.
Real love.
He said he loved me.
And I believed him.
I believed him in the way a starving person believes bread exists when they finally smell it fresh from an oven. In the way a lost child believes safety exists when someone holds out a hand. I wanted this to be real so badly it hurt.
"I…" My voice broke. My knees shook. "I don't know what to say."
My mind still screamed:He's a stranger. Don't trust this. It will break you.
But my heart whispered, trembling:He sees you. He chooses you. This is real. Take it. Takeit.
And between them—between fear and longing, ruin and hope, past and future—I stood trembling, breathless, unable to look away from the man who had just given me the most beautiful moment of my life. My heart was beating so hard it hurt. My cheeks were wet. My whole body trembled as if I'd stepped into a dream where nothing made sense, but everything felt right.
I loved him.
The realization struck me, not softly, but like a beam of light through the wreckage of my life, sudden, fierce, blinding. I loved him. I loved the way he looked at me, the way he protected Klaus, the way he saw me even when I tried so hard to hide.
I wanted him. I wanted to rest. I wanted to lean. I wanted not to carry the world on my shoulders alone anymore. And if that made me weak, then fine.
