“I’m sorry. I should have told you. It just happened so fast.”
“If I died, where would my body be? Left in the temple?”
“No. It’s only happened once, but the dead man was dropped right at the carriage. It’s why Caiden didn’t want to come. He said it would break his heart.” He clenches his jaw and a vein in his temple bulges.
“But you came.” I lower the blanket from my face.
“I knew you’d live.”
“How?” I ask.
“Because I couldn’t even let myself imagine any other possibility.”
My stupid heart flutters, and warmth spreads from low in my belly. How could the gods be so cruel as to put this man in my life and then prevent me from having him?
“I received word today that Anya and all your other ladies arrived safely at the winter estate,” he says.
I sigh in relief. “Good. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Caiden has already arranged for you to join them after your wedding.” He turns away from me and looks out the window but doesn’t release me from his embrace.
I’m silent the rest of the journey. There’s so much I want to say, and yet, none of it matters. If I don’t wed Caiden, Anya and all the ladies who had the misfortune of being assigned to me will die. I can’t let that happen.
Just as we pass through the gates, I have an overwhelming urge to vomit. My eyes go wide, and I look to Brevan.
He must know what I’m feeling because he pounds on the roof twice. The carriage stops, and he opens the door. I only manage to get my head out of the carriage before I expel the contents of my stomach.
Brevan holds my hair, then rubs my back soothingly while I continue to retch until everything is gone.
Sweating and exhausted, I climb back into the seat and lean my head against the wall as we began moving.
“You’ll be sick for a few days,” he says.
I glare at him. “Another thing nobody warned me about?”
“Sorry.” He winces.
I throw the blanket off myself, suddenly so hot I fear I might pass out. I’m panting and sweating. “What is happening to me?”
“Nobody really knows but most of us react like this after the temple. Some don’t vomit, but everyone feels ill. And tired. You’re probably going to struggle to keep your eyes open soon.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “But don’t worry. I won’t leave you unguarded.”
The carriage rolls to a stop, and I shove the door open, vomiting again right in front of the main doors to the castle.
Caiden is waiting for me, his nose wrinkled in disgust.
Brevan throws the blanket over my shoulders. “She’s already ill.”
“I see that.” Caiden takes a few steps closer, and I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Can you walk to your room, or should Brevan carry you?” he asks.
I open my mouth to reply, then begin to heave again. There’s nothing left, but my body is still trying to expel whatever it thinks might be there.
“I’ll carry her,” Brevan says.
When I lean back away from the door, Brevan climbs out, then helps me into his arms. He holds me like a child. Or a bride.
My vision is blurry, and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
