“I’m not his. My heart already belongs to someone else.”
He crushes his lips to mine, and I kiss him back desperately. It’s a goodbye, but I can’t think about that now. I want to memorize the way his body feels against mine. The way his tongue teases, the way he tastes, the way he kisses me like he would burn the whole world for me.
I wipe my tears away as soon as we pull apart. I don’t want to make this any harder for him than it already is. “What are they going to make me do?”
“I’m to bring you to Caiden. For a binding ceremony.”
I gasp. “I’ll be bound to him? Not the emperor?”
He nods.
“Does that mean he’ll control what I do? Or be able to punish me like the emperor does you?”
“It depends on how strong the binding is and how strong the relic is. The emperor can’t override my free will, but as you’ve seen, he punishes me if I use power he doesn’t want me to. I think he could do more, but I’ve been loyal. Until now.”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” I step back so we’re no longer touching. “I’m not what you think I am. You should forget about me. I’m not worth it.”
“Yes, you are,” he says.
I’m so tempted to tell him everything. It would be easier on him if he could hate me. But then I’d lose Anya. And it’s possible he’d be punished as well. I never should have kissed him. “I wish things were different.”
“I know.”
My heart aches. I can’t linger on what could have been anymore. “If I do this, do you really think they’ll bring back Anya?”
“Caiden is a lot of things, but he keeps his bargains. Get him to promise not to harm her in any way. Get him to agree to let her stay by your side. Anything you can think of to ensure her safety. He’ll keep his word.”
I nod. “He’s waiting for me, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“We can’t have them thinking something is wrong.” I make myself stand tall.
“Sabina,” Brevan says.
Every time he says my name,hername, it makes my heart soar. I can’t imagine how it would feel for him to use my real name. But that’s something I’ll never know.
“We should go,” I say.
He nods, then opens the door.
We walk through the halls silently. It’s the middle of the night, and a few legionnaires stand at their posts, but nobody else is around. The halls are dark, lit by sparse flickering lanterns. It feels haunted.
“The empress’s temple?” We’re nearly there, and the door is open. Light pours out from the room. I look at Brevan, my forehead creased in confusion.
“That’s where he wanted to do the ceremony. It’ll just be the two of you.”
I open my mouth to say something, but Caiden steps out of the temple, a wide smile on his face. He’s dressed in black from head to toe. A black tunic and trousers that look oddly out of place on him. They’re comfortable clothes instead of his formal style.
He extends his arms in what is probably supposed to be a welcoming gesture. “My little raven, I have something very special for you tonight.”
Brevan stops, but I continue, careful not to look back at him. I step into the temple, and Caiden closes the door.
Thirty-Eight
“Where is Anya?”I ask.
“She’s at our winter estate, along with your other ladies. I have them preparing your room so it will be comfortable for you when you arrive.”
