“Did he say anything else?” I ask.
“Just to tell youhellofor him.” She rolls her eyes. “He’s still not over you.”
“He’s made that clear.”But he’s also a liar.
I look over at Anya. “Did you say anything to him about the emperor?”
“No.”
I rub my temples and walk in a slow circle. I wasn’t sent here to kill anyone, but then he changed his mind. Now we’re back to the original plan? But why? What was I still doing here if there’s a new plan?
The only reason I agreed to come here was to see the end of this reign. What happens if I do it anyway? What happens if I disobey? Technically, I left the rebellion. This whole thing is a favor. And I truly thought this would be a one-way trip. But now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t even get to tell Lee where the king’s rooms are. None of this makes any sense.
Anya’s watching me with concern etched into her brow. If I try something, and fail, they’ll torture her and kill her because of me. It’s no longer just my life on the line.
I fucked up. I should never have said anything about her to Brevan. My heart aches, and my chest feels tight. That is the other complication. I am falling for the enforcer, and the thought of betraying him is tearing me apart. It shouldn’t. I’d already betrayed him by lying about who I really am. There isn’t any future for us. If he found out the truth, he’d kill me. If I continue this farce, I marry his friend.
It’s lose-lose.
“Tay?” Anya sets a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“You should call me Sabina,” I say. “They can’t find out you know the truth. If something happens, you swear to them that you thought I was her. That I fooled you.”
“I’m not letting you do this alone.” She takes my hand.
“You have to. Swear to me. If there’s a way to save yourself, you do it. Please.” My tone is pure desperation.
“If something goes wrong, we escape. Together.”
“I can’t leave while they’re alive. I stand out too much. Someone would find me and ship me back to them. Or to Iskvaland. This whole thing was a mistake.”
“You still want them dead, don’t you?” she asks.
“Of course I do. But it’s too risky. If I try, and I fail, they’ll come after you.”
“You’re forgetting I know how to take care of myself.”
Her hand is trembling slightly. A physical reminder of what she’s been through. She left the rebellion a few days after I did. She was away from the city when the attack on the Point happened. I still don’t know the details of her mission, but for one of our best to walk away from the field, I know it must have been awful. I can’t ask her to fight again. I can’t put her through that.
I set my hand on top of hers. “I’ll figure it out. Maybe Lee has something in mind. We’ll wait. The emperor and prince aren’t here anyway, so we can’t do anything right now.”
“Alright,” she says. “This is your mission now. I’ll follow your lead.”
“Stay with me tonight?” I’m afraid she’ll disappear if she leaves.
I can’t sleep. Anya snores softly next to me. I remember what it was like sleeping on a bed in the castle for the first time. So plush and pillowy it was impossible not to sleep. Now, it feels more like it might swallow me whole.
I hate the danger she’s in by joining me, but selfishly, I’m happy to see her.
I still can’t believe Brevan found her and brought her here. For me. Because I told him I was homesick. My chest feels tight. It’s the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me. Better than the knives. I don’t deserve his kindness.
The bed shakes a little as I crawl out, but Anya doesn’t stir. I tiptoe to the door and open it a crack. Brevan is at his post, so I step into the hall.
“Is something wrong?” He’s instantly alert, hand reaching for his sword.
“No, nothing’s wrong.”
His shoulders visibly relax.
