“I needed to get away.” I glance down, breaking eye contact. “I miss home.” I look back up at him, knowing my words aregenuine. I don’t have to worry about him catching me lying. “I miss my family and friends. I miss everything.”
He places his other hand on top of mine. “I understand that. I was new to this court once, too.”
“How did you learn to adjust?” I ask.
“I took things one day at a time,” he says. “I found small joys. Things that were just for me.”
If I rose on my toes, my lips would touch his. I’m considering it. It’s insane. It’s stupid. I hate how much I’m drawn to him. Like it’s natural to be this close to him.
I feel safe when he’s around. “Thank you for watching over me.”
“Always.” His smile is sad. Probably because he knows our time is limited.
It’s the reminder I need to remove my hand and take a step back. I’m already in enough trouble after everything with Katherine. I don’t need to add kissing the prince’s closest companion to my list of misdeeds.
I just need to resist until he leaves. It’s easier that way. Especially because after I do what I came for, he’ll never look at me with longing or kindness again.
The door bursts open, and a legionnaire races inside. “Sorry to interrupt.”
My cheeks heat, and I’m grateful I just stepped away from Brevan.
“What is it?” Brevan pulls the last knife out and drops it in the basket without looking.
“The emperor requests your presence immediately.” He opens his mouth to speak again, then closes it when he notices me watching him. He doesn’t trust me. “You should come right now.”
“Sabi—Your Highness, can you make your way back to your room?”
“Yes. Go!” I give him a little push. “Don’t worry about me.”
He hurries from the room, and for the first time, I don’t have any guards following me or checking on me. Whatever is going on is clearly urgent. I might have some time on my own. Brevan trusts me to return to my room, and I hate that I’m breaking that trust, but I have to get a message to the rebellion. Which means I have to get out of this castle.
Thirty
Nobody saysa word when I pass them in the halls. I keep my chin up and walk with purpose. Like I belong.
Legionnaires straighten their posture as I pass, but not a single one stops me.
My heart hammers and my palms are sweaty, but I have to take this chance. I might not get another one.
My old room isn’t guarded. The door isn’t even locked. I know it’s a risk to use the tunnel, but I can’t exactly walk out the front door. It’s too well guarded and too many people would see me. This is my only chance.
That is, if the tunnel is even open anymore. I know there’s a good possibility that it was walled off or the door was sealed. I’m hoping that since they moved me to my new room, they haven’t had a chance to do anything with it yet.
I slip through the door and close it behind me. After a quick check to make sure I’m alone, I drag the chair from the desk to the bathing chamber. After I close the door, I wedge the chair under the doorknob, taking a chance that it holds.
“This is so stupid. You’re going to get caught,” I whisper to myself. My self-scolding doesn’t stop me, though. I slide the panel, and like I hoped, it opens just fine.
Whatever dragged Brevan away needs to be something huge and distracting. Something that keeps him, and everyone else, occupied for hours. I need good fortune right now.
Thankfully, the lamps still burn. Whatever magic they used is strong. I grab one and carry it with me into the tunnel. I’m practically running, turning at all my markings and then following the rebel stars.
Finally, I find the ladder that leads to Silk Row. I stop at the base of the ladder and realize that I can’t go out there. It’s daylight, and my hair is going to give me away.
The dress I’m wearing has several layers, and it isn’t easy, but I manage to tear out one of the underlayers so I can wrap it around my head to cover my hair. It’s a poor substitute for a scarf, but it’ll have to do.
The rungs are cold in my grip, and when I finally emerge into the city, I’m instantly drenched by a deluge of rain. It pelts me like little shards of ice. My dress clings to my skin and my teeth chatter before I’ve even made it three blocks.
I can’t stop, though. I forge on. Thanks to the weather, I’m often alone on the street. A few people pass, their umbrellas shielding them from the storm. They give me looks of disdain, making assumptions about why I’m out here.
