“You were supposed to be the one person who never hurt me,” Gemma said quietly.
“I am so sorry,” Caitlin whispered and gently placed a kiss on Gemma’s forehead, not knowing how to make the pain go away.
Gemma shifted, tucking her body into Caitlin’s.
She wrapped her arms around Gemma, holding her in a tight embrace.
“I’ve got you,” Caitlin promised, kissing the top of Gemma’s head again and locking her arms in place. They stayed like that until their heartbeats slowed and their chests began to rise and fall in unison.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Gemma mumbled into Caitlin’s chest after a long silence.
“Always.”
They stayed entwined throughout the entire night, Caitlin refusing to loosen her hold as Gemma drifted into a peaceful sleep against her chest. She fought against the weight of her own eyelids for as long as she could, not wanting to surrender a single second.
THE NEXT MORNING, CAITLIN OPENEDher eyes at the sound of movement outside the bedroom. She reached for Gemma, but the bed beside her was empty. Panic jolted her upright, and she grabbed her UPenn crewneck from the chair before rushing out.
“Are you leaving?” Caitlin asked, voice tight with dread as she walked into the living area and found Gemma lacing her Doc Martens.
Gemma rose from the couch, crossed the space between them, and pressed a soft, conclusive kiss to her lips.
Caitlin’s knees buckled as the floor tilted beneath her.
One hand wrapped around the door handle, Gemma paused and looked over her shoulder to meet Caitlin’s eyes. Her face was unreadable. A heartbreak later, she was gone.
Feeling unmoored, Caitlin stumbled to the couch. There, on the wooden coffee table, sat a hastily scrawled note on a piece of hotel stationery.
Caitlin,
Last night was truly amazing. These last few months have been everything to me—you are everything to me. I wouldn’t survive losing you again. I can’t risk it. I know leaving this note makes me a hypocrite, but I hope you can understand.
I love you, Caitlin, with all my heart. Again. Still.
Always and forever,
Gemma
Caitlin crumbled into the cushions, the letter clenched tight in her fist. A sharp pain tore through her chest as the silence from Gemma’s absence threatened to consume her.
TWENTY-SEVEN
GEMMA HAD BEEN WOKEN BYthe rising sun as it slipped between the clouds and city skyline, drenching Caitlin’s hotel room in morning light. She had lingered, admiring the ethereal beauty of Caitlin’s peaceful face as she slept. She could have stayed there forever, memorizing the cadence of her breaths. Gemma knew she had to leave before she lost her strength.
She had eased out of the bed without ruffling the sheets, slipped back into last night’s clothes, and tiptoed toward the door. As Gemma walked into the living room, she spotted a notepad and a pen on the coffee table.
Her heart twisted at the idea of leaving behind nothing but a note, the same way Caitlin had, but she decided that it was better than vanishing without a trace.
Gemma hadn’t expected Caitlin to wake up before she could sneak out. Caitlin’s glassy eyes had watched her with a dawning realization that shattered Gemma’s heart.
She just couldn’t bring herself to say goodbye—not to her. It was the fear of goodbye that had driven Gemma out of Caitlin’s bed in the first place.
Time slowed as Gemma etched a final image of Caitlin into her memory. She stood in the doorway of the hotel bedroom,swallowed by Gemma’s old college crewneck, heartbreak plain across her face. The air drained from Gemma’s lungs, reaffirming the truth she had realized this morning. If Caitlin had shattered her at nineteen, then losing her now at twenty-nine would destroy Gemma beyond repair.
DAYS HAD BLURRED SINCE THEmorning Gemma had found herself in Caitlin’s bed. She’d turned down the contract for another three years withNYPDIntelligenceand now sat in limbo, waiting to see what opportunities might come after the premiere ofForbiddenLove.
With no current work responsibilities and food delivery apps in the palm of her hand, Gemma hadn’t left her apartment once.She hadn’t heard from Caitlin, either. Silence filled her space like fog, leaving Gemma to assume that Caitlin had slipped back into her life in LA as if none of it had ever happened.
That evening, Gemma was wallowing on her couch when she heard a key click into the lock. She spun her head toward the door before sinking back into the cushions.
