When Gemma excused herself, Caitlin stood moments after, not far behind. She walked into the bathroom and met Gemma’s eyes in the mirror. Gemma had both hands planted on the black-and-white marble as she leaned over the sink.
“Caitlin, you don’t need to check up on me.”
“I know I don’t, but I wanted to.” A look passed between them, broken when Caitlin crossed to the counter and faced her.
Gemma turned, pressing her hip against the edge of the surface. “It’s weird—our worlds colliding like this.”
“Yeah, a little. But I’m happy you’re here. It was a nice surprise to see you tonight.”
You have to go after her.
“I miss you, Gemma. It could be like this again, you know.”
Gemma let out a dry laugh. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.”
Caitlin stared into Gemma’s golden-brown eyes. “Tell me you feel the same way. Tell me you felt what I did that day in your trailer.”
“I can’t, Caitlin.”
“Why? Why can’t you, Gemma?” Caitlin pressed.
Gemma slid her fingers into Caitlin’s, interlacing them together. “Do you want to know why I drink scotch now?”
“Why?” Caitlin leaned closer, confused by the sudden change in Gemma’s demeanor.
“Because it reminded me of you.”
Time seemed to slow around Caitlin.
Gemma’s eyes begged her to understand. “I was spiraling, grasping for anything that could make me feel like you were still here. I couldn’t bear losing you, Caitlin. I kept remembering your kiss—the scotch on your lips, the tang on your breath—so I started drinking it too, just to taste you again. I guess I never learned to stop.”
Too many questions bombarded Caitlin at once. How was she intended to interpret that? Was Gemma telling her that she still has feelings, too? Gemma looked sincere, so why was she putting up so many walls?
Before Caitlin could choose a question, Gemma sighed. “Come on. Let’s get back and make sure those two haven’t killed each other.”
“Maybe they’re already making out. I’m not surewhatthat energy was back there,” Caitlin joked half-heartedly. When Gemma didn’t reply, she said, “Go ahead, I’ll meet you out there in a minute.”
Gemma hesitated but then left.
Not seconds after, tears broke free, hot and sudden. Caitlin began to shake with sobs, shame erupting into molten streams that flowed down her face and washed away her perfect mask of makeup. She cried for the years she had lost to time and distance, for the pain that she had single-handedly caused, and for the worst decision of her life.
Caitlin had never allowed herself to break open like that. She feared what would happen—the safe pieces of excuses would fall away, and she would have to face the truth that she had ruined the most important relationship of her life, potentially forever.
After a few minutes, Caitlin leveled her breathing, blew her nose, and dabbed her face with a cloth from the sink. She didn’t have anything to fix her makeup, but she doubted it would have made a difference. Everyone out there would be able to see through it.
When Caitlin returned to the table, the other three women seemed to be talking easily. It was a small win, but she would take it.
The trio looked up at her arrival, forcing smiles as they saw through her own. Caitlin leaned back against the couch as Maddie slid closer, reaching for her hand. They didn’t need to exchange words for Caitlin to feel comforted by her presence.
Self-conscious and eager to move on, Caitlin teased, “Glad to see you two have kissed and made up.” She let out a breathy laugh and looked between Hayley and Maddie, trying to shiftthe focus.
Maddie and Hayley snorted while Gemma managed a small, awkward smile.
“Should we have another round, or call it a night?” Maddie asked the table, though Caitlin knew the question was really for her.
“One more round,” Caitlin answered, and they all agreed.
After four new glasses arrived, the conversation stayed light, and the evening smoothed into a pleasant blur.
