“We will bring it all to the screen for you,” Caitlin promised, Gemma abnormally quiet beside her.
“Great. Okay, I’ll let you two finish getting ready, and I’ll see you out there.”
Mrs. Ryan left, Gemma following her out of the trailer.
“Gemma, wait!” Caitlin yelled, stopping Gemma before her foot hit the pavement. “Are we going to be okay doing this?”
Gemma turned back up the stairs, letting the door close behind her. “I don’t know.”
“We need to figure this out. This is our job. The kiss has to feel real, like we actually like each other. Not whatever that just was when Mrs. Ryan was describing the scene. You looked like you were going to puke.”
Gemma sat back down on the couch, throwing her head into her hands and curling over until her elbows hit her knees.
“How the hell am I supposed to kiss you and mean it?” She spoke softly before looking up at Caitlin, sadness filling her eyes. “I’m what, supposed to just fall into your arms as if nothing ever happened between us? Kiss you like you first kissed me thirteen years ago? For amovie?” Each word was laced with more anger than the last.
Caitlin didn’t have an answer. This wasn’t exactly a situation she’d trained for, either. UPenn hadn’t offered a classon how to kiss your ex-girlfriend for a role.
“I’m not sure, Gemma, but this is hard for me too, you know.”
“Hard for you?” Gemma jumped to her feet, angrily waving her arms as she spoke. “How is this hard for you? In case you forgot, you’re the one who fucking left. You left, and I’m the one who spent the better part of a decade trying to figure out why I wasn’t good enough for you to stay.”
“I didn’t forget,” Caitlin murmured, her voice breaking. “I’m sorry, Gemma. I’m so sorry. What can I do to help you forgive me?”
Gemma paced the trailer, feeling caged, before her eyes locked back onto Caitlin’s. “Why couldn’t you have said that nine years ago?”
Caitlin watched Gemma as the hard exterior started to fall away, catching a glimpse of the gentle, caring girl she had once known.
“You know it always took me a little longer than most to figure things out.” Caitlin hoped that a bit of self-deprecation might ease the tension, but Gemma looked just as miserable and exhausted as she was.
Gemma scoffed. “Trust me, I know. But going silent for a summer is a little bit different than a decade.”
As teenagers, it had taken Caitlin more time to accept her feelings for Gemma than visa versa.
“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” Caitlin asked.
Gemma shot her a look that said,Seriously? You have to ask?
Caitlin should have known better. After she had left, the memory probably cut Gemma like a knife.
“I was so scared and still trying to figure myself out, but that night…” Caitlin trailed off. “I just had to kiss you. It was as if a force had overtaken me, and I felt like I would die if I didn’t doit at that exact moment. And I had never been happier than when you kissed me back. I know after everything we’ve gone through, this feels terrifying too. But it’s just me out there with you. Just like the first time.”
“There’s nojust, Caitlin.” Gemma’s voice cracked. “It’syou. That’s the problem.”
Caitlin could see the years-old heartache engulf Gemma. Before she could stop herself, Caitlin strode over to where Gemma stood, wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and held Gemma like they used to as young girls.
Caitlin tried to ignore the way her body tingled with electricity at the points where their figures connected. This wasn’t about her at the moment. It was about her first love, whom she had completely broken apart. But Caitlin hadn’t realized just how much she missed Gemma until that moment.
After a few seconds, Caitlin felt the tension drain out of Gemma as she relaxed, moving her arms around Caitlin’s waist.
“I got you,” Caitlin whispered next to Gemma’s ear. She wanted to hold Gemma forever. “If there’s anything I can do to help make this easier for you, please let me know.”
Gemma only nodded before detangling herself from Caitlin’s arms and fleeing the trailer.
Minutes later, Caitlin’s wardrobe team burst through the door with her first scene’s outfit, leaving her without time to process Gemma’s words.
The first look had been simple. Caitlin had worn a long, light-pink satin robe as she received the call from Sarah with her good news. They had gotten the shot in only two takes.
After, Caitlin had changed into a second outfit for the dinner scene. Her character’s wardrobe was exquisite, but this ensemble was her favorite so far.
