Gemma stood in front of the small square mirror hanging on the wall of the cramped trailer, holding her script. Based on the unhappy look on her face, Caitlin knew that she was probably not the person Gemma had been expecting. Gemma hadn’t told her to go to hell, though, so Caitlin took that as a win and stepped further into the lounge.
“I just wanted to... um, come say hi. Before we got started today.” Caitlin stumbled over her words, hearing the distant rumble of generators and the crew shouting through the thin walls.
Caitlin thought back to when they had started hanging outtogether during their sophomore year of high school. Gemma tugged her out of the safe little box she had been living in. Flirting with friends, collapsing into tickle fights, and dancing barefoot in the basement hadn’t been part of Caitlin’s usual rhythm. She had rarely spent one-on-one time with anyone besides Troy. But with Gemma, everything had felt different. Each moment was a first, reshaping how Caitlin had seen the world and herself.
Now, angrily standing in front of her, Gemma’s voice yanked Caitlin back from those bittersweet memories. “You really don’t need to do this. We can act just like everyone else without history. Show up, do our scenes, and go home.”
Caitlin crossed her arms at her chest, needing the comfort. “I get it. You aren’t thrilled about me being here.”
“That’s an understatement,” Gemma mumbled under her breath.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” It seemed that the nicer Caitlin tried to be, the harsher Gemma’s words became, and it was beginning to aggravate her.
“I really hoped to never see you again.”
The sting of Gemma’s words coursed through Caitlin, and this time, she couldn’t subdue the anger bubbling inside of her.
“Listen, this film is a big opportunity for me. This could be my shot at an Oscar nomination with McKenzie Ryan. So we need to get on the same page here because I’m not going to let you ruin this for me.”
Gemma scoffed. “It’s nice to see you haven’t changed one bit. Always looking out for Caitlin.” She dropped the script on the small desk, barely controlling her rage, and moved closer to Caitlin. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe this means something to me, too? That this movie could get me off of network television and away from the misogynistic piece of shit that makes my life a living hell? This isn’t just a big opportunityfor you, Caitlin. This could make or break me.”
The air sat heavy between them, thick with the scent of hairspray and a decade-old resentment. Caitlin squeezed her arms tighter around her body. At the mention of a man mistreating Gemma, fury surged through Caitlin. She felt an overwhelming impulse to scream and hunt down anyone who had ever hurt Gemma.
But then the deeper truth hit. Caitlin herself hadn’t been kind. She had never stopped to consider what this role might mean to Gemma. That realization cracked her open, and a dozen feelings rushed in at once. She was suddenly drowning in the guilt, the regret, and the love that she still felt toward the woman seething in front of her.
Gemma narrowed her eyes at Caitlin, waiting for a retort that never came. She didn’t have any anger left.
“Well, we’re here now, whether we like it or not. So what is the page that you would like us to get on?” Gemma asked.
Caitlin could feel the pressure building with every moment they stood in this confined trailer. She needed to resolve this matter before the time bomb exploded.
“I want you to be able to be in my presence without looking like you want to throw up.” Caitlin softened, uncrossing her arms. “I don’t want it to show up on the screen.”
Gemma placed her hands on her hips. “Thanks, but I don’t need advice from you. You’ve always been so good at focusing on yourself, so I suggest you do that now.”
Caitlin realized that, in this moment, there was no explanation, no apology that would satisfy Gemma. The years of silence between them had hardened into something immovable. Not knowing what else to do, Caitlin retreated from the trailer, each step heavy with regret.
The remainder of the afternoon went peacefully following Caitlin’s earlier departure from Gemma’s trailer. Her scenes thatday were all filmed with her on-screen husband, allowing her to keep a safe distance from Gemma. Tomorrow would be a different story, though.
The University of Pennsylvania theater classes hadn’t exactly prepared her for this situation, believe it or not. But for everyone’s sake, Caitlin really hoped that the two of them could keep it together. She knew she couldn’t place all the blame on Gemma. They had been forced back into each other’s lives after not seeing or speaking to one another since they were nineteen. There was no playbook for moments like this, no script to follow, no easy fix. But Caitlin knew with an aching clarity that if they didn’t face the past, they would stay trapped in it indefinitely.
When Caitlin got back to her hotel room that night, she called her best friend.
“Hey girl!” Caitlin immediately felt better hearing Maddie’s voice. “How’s the Big Apple?”
“Ugh.” Caitlin groaned into the phone.
“Damn, that bad?”
“Gemma is just making this so difficult. And I get it, I gave her the reason not to like me in the first place. But I had thought that since it’s been so long, maybe she would be over it by now.” Caitlin sighed.
“I mean, Cait, seriously? I’m not defending her, but you broke up with her and then literally ghosted her. How’d you think she was going to react? Even if she’s over you by now, that doesn’t mean she’s not still angry. Cut her some slack—and maybe yourself, while you’re at it. This is a messy situation.”
Caitlin appreciated that Maddie was always so brutally honest with her. She needed a friend who would stand by her no matter what. But she also needed to be told the truth, even when it wasn’t easy to hear.
“Yeah, I guess. I just don’t know how to give Gemma spacewhile also working so closely together.”
“Just give it some time, you guys will figure it out. In the meantime, just try to stay away when you’re not filming with her. It might take a while, but eventually you’ll both be in the right headspace to talk.”
