“Righteous. Indignant. As if he’s the one who runs the show, not you.”
I start to defend him but stop myself. My bad habit is second nature.
I’m so used to silencing my own voice that it’s been nice to allow my thoughts space to breath.
“Anyway, enough about Paul. I wanna hear all about this Christopher guy,” she says.
Just the sound of his name from her lips makes me smile.
“Do you like him?” I ask, cutting up another mouthful of the fish. The flaky cod melts instantly when it meets my tongue.
I’m wondering if this time she’ll give her seal of approval. I’m not sure why I’m so desperate for it, given that she never really liked Samuel. I’ve often thought that there was a small part of her that was relieved when he died. Maybe in part because she got to spend more time with me again once he was no longer around.
“He seems like a keeper to me. He’s funny, smart, and quitehandsome too. If his father looks anything like him, maybe you could put in a good word for me.” She elbows my arm, knocking the fish from my fork.
“Mom!” I’m almost sick at the thought, before the sickness turns to fear.
Is Mom not happy with Dad?
Are they no longer getting along?
Is she thinking of leaving him?
Ugh. I shake my head, wishing I could find the off switch and stop my thoughts from spiraling.
“But in all seriousness, Alex, if you don’t snap him up, I will.” Her witch’s cackle makes me grab the napkin beside me and throw it at her.
“Good thing I asked him to be my boyfriend then.” I raise my eyebrows as I grab a steak fry.
“You did?!” My mom drops her cutlery and grabs my arm with both hands. “What did he say?” There’s eagerness in the ocean-blue eyes that I got from her.
I reach for a handful of steak fries, enjoying keeping her in suspense.
“Come on, son, spit it out!” She releases her grip and whacks my shoulder.
“He said yes.”
My mom lets out a squeal that has everyone in the cafeteria stopping to turn around and look at her.
“Jesus, Mom! Keep it down.” I put my hand to my forehead.
“Can’t I be excited for my own son to find happiness? You’ve been so down every time we’ve visited you on the road. It’s actually nice, despite all the Paul and Rita issues, to see you happy for a change. And if this Christopher guy is the reason for it, I want him to stick around.” She pulls her hand away from mine to lean back and look at me.
It’s true. I have been down a lot since I’ve been on tour thistime. In the past, Samuel was always with me, not just as my partner but as my assistant. But on this tour there’s been a lot of lonely nights in hotel rooms. A lot of alone time with my thoughts and feelings. Christopher is the perfect remedy to that—the perfect escape.
“Have you guys talked about what happens after you come off tour?” She picks her cutlery back up, using her fork to cut into the last bit of her fish. “He lives in LA, right? Or did I get that wrong?” The scratching sound of my mom’s fork on her plate grates against my ears, making me wince.
“Yeah, he does.” Which actually makes it a lot easier than when I started seeing Samuel, because he lived in Manhattan. “We haven’t actually discussed that. It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind to be honest.”
My mom misses her mouth with her fork, and the fish falls beyond the napkin around her neck and lands just beneath, staining her top. Both of us look down at it as I shake my head. Clearly she is who I get my eating habits from.
Freddy approaches our table, and my mom reaches for the spare napkin opposite, licking it and dabbing at her T-shirt.
“Congrats, brother. Paul told me the news.” Freddy grabs my shoulder, jerking it back and forth.
“Thanks man,” I say, motioning to him to pull up a seat.
“We need to get in a studio ASAP to record the studio version. Strike while the iron’s hot,” he says, sitting down and grabbing a steak fry from my plate.
