Declan was not in his right mind, and he needed me now more than ever. I hadn’t let him down before and that wasn’t about to change. I’d ensure it.
Chapter Eleven
Ronan
The days that followed that fateful night in the camp were some of the most stressful of my life.
John-Francis and I had spent hours scouring Appleby in search of Declan, and by the time the sun was rising we’d had to accept defeat. Wherever Declan was, he didn’t want to be found, and I knew that was tearing John-Francis apart.
It had been two days, and no one had seen hide nor hair of Declan Furey. I did my best to stay positive, but it hurt me more than I could ever explain to see John-Francis fretting over his mate. I was angry, furious that Declan could be so fucking selfish so as to not even drop his best mate a text to let him know he was still alive… Although as more and more time elapsed, the dark thoughts that maybe hewasn’tbegan to creep in. I hoped against hope that it wasn’t the case, that Declan was just taking some time to lick his wounds in private and would turn up here in a few days like nothing had happened… but I was filled with doubt.
There wasn’t much I could do to ease John-Francis’s suffering other than staying with him, keeping him company and making sure he took care of himself. He wasn’t sleeping well, and I was certain he’d not be eating well neither if it wasn’t for me forcing it down his neck.
John-Francis wasn’t alone in being tense and filled with worry. Ma hadn’t been quite right since the night of Tess’s disappearance. She’d never been much good around traumatic events, and I knew the things she’d seen that night were playing over and over in her head. I was out of my mind with worry, having two of the people I loved the most in pieces, but I put on a brave face. Darragh took care of Ma, I handled John-Francis, but it was taking its toll on both of us. Late at night,when I was laying beside John-Francis, stroking him as he tossed and turned, I’d find myself wishing I could reverse time. Everything had been so perfect… How had it soured so quickly?
The constant police presence around the camp was driving everyone crazy. The authorities made travellers volatile at the best of times, but having them poking their noses in, asking questions had driven a good number of folks away. The ones who remained were angry, looking for excuses to lash out and cause trouble. The camp was not a comfortable place to be, and it seemed there was no escaping it.
It was on one warm morning that I left John-Francis sleeping – a real rarity – and traipsed back home for what felt like the first time in an age. What I saw pulled me up short.
“What’s goin’ on, like?” I asked, watching Ma as she wound up the washing line she’d erected the first day we’d hitched up. She startled, spinning to face me with a grin expression.
“We’d be makin’ a move, now.”
I felt my stomach drop. “Y’what? Where?”
“Dunno, like, but we’d be needin’ t’ get outta here, son. It’s like a feckin’ prison,” she muttered, eyes fixed to the line as she wound it around her hand.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I ran a hand through my hair as I sank down into one of the chairs that had yet to be packed away. “Were y’gonna tell me or just feckin’ disappear, now?” I snapped, anger and grief tussling inside me.
“‘Course I’d be tellin’ ya,” Ma replied tersely. “But the decision is made. Darragh an’ I are leavin’. Today. It’s up t’ yourself if y’gonna be joinin’ us, now.”
I lowered my head, intertwining my fingers at the back of my neck as I stared at the grass. “Feckin’ hell…”
There was a long silence and as my ma’s feet appeared beside me, I glanced up.
“Look here,” she said, her voice softer, sadder. “Don’t feel ya have t’ come with us. I know how things are f’ya here wi’ John-Francis. No one would be thinkin’ poorly o’ yas if ya choose to stay behind wi’ him.”
“Ma…” I sighed, my voice catching in my throat as a swell of emotion threatened to overcome me.
She squeezed my shoulder. “It’d be a lot t’ take in, I know. We’ve got a wee bit o’ packin’ up left t’ do. Promise ya we won’t leave without sayin’ goodbye. Why don’t ya talk it over wi’ John-Francis, now? See what he’s got t’ say ‘bout it, eh?”
I nodded, getting to my feet. I felt numb. I’d known deep down that I would have had to face this eventually. Ma and Darragh were never going to hang around here forever, but I hadn’t been expecting it so soon and especially not now, not with everything else that was going on.
In a daze, I wandered back to John-Francis’s place, not at all surprised to find he was no longer asleep. He had his phone to his ear, his body shot with tension.
“—An’ y’sure it’s him, now?” John-Francis caught my eye, his expression steely and set with determination. He remained quiet for a moment whilst he listened to whoever was on the other end before jumping up to his feet. “Aye, I’ll be there. Give me five t’ get dressed. I’m on me way.”
John-Francis hung up, throwing his phone down onto the bed and immediately grabbing his t-shirt from the floor.
“Declan?” I asked, my heart thumping.
“Aye, at last. One o’ Seamus’s mates spotted him wandering ‘bout the town an’ followed him t’ a wee cottage. Assumin’ that’s Tess’s place, like.”
“Thank feck f’that. Is he okay?” When John-Francis cast me a grim expression, I pressed my lips together.
I remained silent for a moment, just watching John-Francis hurriedly dragging his clothes on. Now was definitely not the time to be bringing up Ma and Darragh leaving, and yet I felt like I had a tennis ball in my throat, all my worries and fears building up inside me.
John-Francis grabbed his phone and slipped it into his pocket, faltering and glancing back at me. He ran a hand through his hair.
