Pansy blinked, and then her eyes widened. No doubt she thought she’d simply misheard.
So, for the sake of absolute clarity, Ren repeated themself: “It’s not a stupid idea.”
“You’re only saying that because you don’t know how terrible I am at gardening,” Pansy murmured. Still, she was smiling, a familiar dimple wedged into her cheek, so that must count for something.
In fact, it counted for a lot, given the way Ren’s heart thumped hard against their breastbone, bringing with it a wave of warmth so fierce it rendered their cloak largely unnecessary. Hence why they pulled it higher, dipping their chin beneath its heavy folds. They gave an awkward-sounding cough and said, “It’s a good thing my thumb’s green enough for the both of us, then.”
“Oh, you say that now,” Pansy replied, shaking her head. “But you have no idea just how limited my capacity for gardening is.”
Ren arched an eyebrow. “I saw you knock over an entire mushroom farm and nearly kill several decades’ worth of painstakingly cultivated moss. I think I’m well aware of your destructive capabilities.”
Pansy laughed. “Okay, point taken. That being said…” She trailed off, catching her lower lip between her teeth in a fit of hesitation. “You actually want to help me with this?”
Faced with the sight of Pansy gazing at them through her lashes, Ren’s insides gave a discomfiting squirm.No, they wanted to say, desperate to clamp down on the jittery, storm-like buzz blooming in their belly, a mirror to the flush spreading across their cheeks. But their mouth went dry the second their lips moved to form the word, leaving their tongue, rendered heavy and useless, to flop soundlessly against their soft palate. One swallow turned into two, until, finally, Ren had no choice but to concede.
“I’ll help you if you ask me to,” they said, oddly hoarse. Not a lie, but, rather, a too convenient truth, used to obfuscate instead of reveal.
“Okay,” Pansy said, with a decisive sort of finality, “I’m asking, then.”
How strange that a handful of words could send Ren’s heart soaring, the rush of giddy pleasure so overwhelming, they couldn’t keep it from showing on their face. It swept across their lips in a broad arc, flashing teeth without a hint of restraint. “Let’s go win this competition.”
Pansy made a half-strangled sound low in her throat and quickly jerked her gaze away. Wide-eyed and red in the face, she said nothing for several beats, seemingly devoting all of her attention to the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other. “Y-yeah,” she said at last, releasing a shaky, knotted breath.
Ren stared at her, confusion twisting across their brow. Wait – did shelikethem? No. Certainly not. It was too complicated a possibility to consider. They gave a quick shake of their head, their pulse fluttering hot and quick beneath their skin.The thought, however, would not be so easily dislodged.
But what if she does?Ren wondered, despite themself, the possibility worming deeper still. What would it mean for them?
Nothing, came the reply, almost instantly.Absolutely nothing. Because Ren didn’t like her like that, and they never would. Sure, they were helping her out with this festival thing, but that was hardly proof of any romantic desire on their part. In fact, it confirmed just the opposite! Because if Pansy won, she’d have no reason to stick around. She’d have all the acceptance she’d ever need back in the village, where she belonged, away from Ren – which, for the record, was exactly what they wanted. It would be better for both of them.
“What kinds of seeds do you have?” they asked, ignoring the way their chest tightened at the thought of Pansy’s departure.
“Oh, uh, flowers mostly,” Pansy replied, digging out a few sachets to illustrate. “With the festival so soon, I figured they were a safe bet.”
“I thought it was a crop competition.”
“I mean, edible flowerstechnicallyare crops too, right? But yes,” she admitted with a sigh, shoulders slumping, “I’d have to enter the flower division, which is… smaller.”And less prestigious, came the implication.
Ren thought for a moment. “You want to enter the main division, right?”
“Well, yes. Assuming it was feasible. But it’s not, so there’s no real point thinking about it.”
“It’s only not feasible if you’re planning on planting the seeds today.”
“But… I am,” Pansy said, her brow furrowing. “So, unless you’ve got some goblin magic that’ll let you turn back time—”
“No. I’ve got something better.” They grinned. “Anestablished garden. How does a pumpkin sound?”
Pansy gaped at them. “You have a pumpkin?Where?”
“In a plot a little way away from the cottage, near the back fence,” Ren replied. “Admittedly, I’ve – I don’t want to sayneglectedit. It’s still doing fine on all counts. But I’ve had to prioritize the other, faster-growing crops, so that part of the garden might be a little overgrown in comparison.” They grimaced.
“Why faster-growing crops?” Pansy asked, cocking her head to the side.
“I like being prepared for the winter,” was all Ren said. Again, not a lie, but not the entire truth either. And that’s exactly how it would have to be. Because it was one thing for Ren to involve themself with Pansy; that was a choice they were free to make. The clan, however, was a completely separate thing. Their needs superseded Ren’s own. And what they needed was to be protected.
Plus, Ren added almost mournfully in the privacy of their own head,it’s not like she’d understand. Plenty is all she’s ever known. It’d be foolish of me to expect otherwise.
If Pansy sensed there was more to the story, she gave no indication of it. With a definite skip now to her step, she grinned at Ren and said, “Shall we go see this pumpkin, then?”
