Although Thorn had been born into the Woodward Clan, his parents had not. Why a pair of Swamp Goblins from the south had opted to settle among their cave-dwelling brethren, no one could say. But the clan had accepted them in much the same way they’d accepted Ren – completely and wholeheartedly.
Grimacing, Ren said, “Thorn, I think you’re greatly overestimating my abilities.”
“No, I’m not,” Thorn replied, already hard at work rummaging through the chaos that inevitably unfurled across any space he claimed as his. “Now, where did I put it…? Oh! Found it!” Heextracted a small amber bottle from an otherwise impenetrable sea of clutter with a triumphant flourish.
“That was quick,” Ren said, eyebrows arching with genuine surprise. “Might be a new record.”
“I’ve been trying to stay organized,” Thorn explained with a nod, managing to sound utterly sincere even as he stepped across a series of rumpled-up shirts to present the bottle to Ren.
“Uh-huh,” was all Ren said, their gaze flicking pointedly downward.
At least Thorn had the decency to look embarrassed at that, his olive-green skin darkening to a rusty red. “It was, uh, cleaner before you got here.”
“I’m sure it was.” In other words,I don’t believe you, but I’m polite enough not to say it outright.
Though perhaps Ren should’ve, considering Thorn couldn’t offer them the same courtesy when it came to letting unpleasant subjects lie.
“Hey, Ren?” he asked after a beat. “Are you sure you’re okay with being the new Caretaker? You used to talk about wanting to find someone to settle down with. You know, start a family?”
Ren shrugged, somehow managing to exude nonchalance even as their muscles seized into a board-like stiffness. “We need a Caretaker, and I’m the one best suited to the role. It’s pretty simple.”
“Yeah, uh, that’s not what I asked.”
They blew out a breath, rolling the bottle between their palms. “Is it my first choice? No, of course not. But it’s what needs to be done. As long as the clan’s taken care of, that’s good enough for me. Besides, living alone isn’t so bad—”
Their brain, traitor that it was, took the opportunity to flash Pansy’s face before their eyes; her delicate features, rendered incrystal-clear definition, enough to narrow their throat with a sudden, graceless jolt. And Thorn, far too observant for someone who lacked what most would consider common sense, jumped on this stumble with all the delight of a cat who’d just caught a mouse – or, perhaps, a fat dollop of cream.
“Oooh, you’re hiding something,” he said, grinning from one elongated ear to the other.
“No, I’m—ugh.” Ren sank into themself, arms folding over their chest as they silently cursed their ongoing inability to lie.
Ridiculous.
“Fine!” Ren sighed, the breath scraping through them like sandpaper. “I’m not living alone any more, okay? There’s”– they grimaced, certain they were moments away from signing themself up for the biggest hit of regret they’d ever experienced – “someone else.”
Thorn’s ears pricked up immediately, wiggling with almost childlike delight. “Is it a girl? Oh, it’sdefinitelya girl. I can see it written all over your face. What’s her name? Is she pretty? What clan is she from?”
“She’s a halfling.”
“Okay,” Thorn said, without missing a beat – a far cry from the shock Ren had expected. “That answers… maybe one of my three questions. What about the rest?”
“Her name is Pansy.”
“And?Threequestions, Ren. Not two.”
Ren gave him a weird look, their brow furrowing. “You can’t seriously be asking me if she’s pretty. She’s ahalfling.”
Thorn shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? You know I don’t discriminate based on someone’s ancestry. It’s what’s inside that counts.” He thumped his fist against his chest, as if to illustrate.
For a moment, Ren could only gape at their cousin. Then,burying their face in their hands, they muttered, “Nature have mercy. You’re absolutely ridiculous.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised you’re acting like this,” Thorn said with a frown. “You were fine with me dating Towi.”
“Because Towi is agnome. Gnomes don’t hate us like halflings do!”
“Yeah…” Thorn sighed, his expression turning almost wistful. “They’re too fixated on their machines for that. Which I guess is why Towi and I didn’t work out. You know, ’cause I’m not a machine.”
Ren rolled their eyes. “Even if Pansywaspretty, it doesn’t matter because, like I already said, she’s a halfling who hates goblins. And I, for the record, don’t like her either.”
