Blossom’s brow furrowed. “How long has this goblin been living in your grandmother’s cottage exactly? I just don’t understand how they can claim ownership when they don’t even have a key to the place.”
“That’s what I said, but as far as they’re concerned, the key is irrelevant. Although they only moved in recently, their aunt has supposedly lived in the cottage for several decades. Hence why the place is still in such good condition.”
No sooner had the words left Pansy’s mouth than a veil of confusion drew over her brow. She needed Ren out; not to defend their right to the cottage. In fact, as far as she was concerned, Ren had no right.
Blossom took a thoughtful sip of her tea. “You know, I’m abruptly reminded of the time I got up from my seat at the last Wilder Woods concert to get something to drink and returned only to find Danny Oldbough sitting in it.”
“The solicitor?”
“Yes, well. He wasn’t a solicitor then. This was about ten years ago, mind you. Anyway”– she waved a hand – “I asked him, quite politely, to go somewhere else, as it was my seat, which I’d arrived early to secure. He then started talking about some old halfling law called ‘adverse possession’; how because I’d ‘abandoned’ my seat he was, therefore, entitled to it. But, being the magnanimous gentleman that he was, he would be more than willing to share – by having me sit on his lap.”
Pansy made a low noise of disgust. “Gross.”
“Obviously, I declined and watched the rest of the concert from a different, worse seat. But later I find out that this old law of his was strickencenturiesago. So, next time I saw him I gave him a bouquet full of poison ivy. As one does.”
“A proportionate response, I think,” Pansy declared with a nod. “Hopefully, he’s become a better lawyer since then – for his clients’ sakes, at least.”
“Who knows.” Blossom shrugged. “But all that to say, I guess I can see where your goblin’s logic might be stemming from; not that that makes it any less flawed.”
Her goblin?
Heat surged into Pansy’s face. “Their name is Ren,” she blurted out in a rush, seizing the first thing that came to mind in order to dispel the unfortunate implication nestled in Blossom’s words, unintended though it probably was.
“So, you’re on a first-name basis already, are you?” Blossom grinned, the perfectly manicured arches of her eyebrows soaring up towards her hairline.
Oh, gods. Not this again.
“It made sense to introduce ourselves,” Pansy replied, stiffening in her seat anew. Her grip tightened on the table’s edge, hard enough to turn her knuckles white.
“Oh, yes. It madesense. And here I thought my best friend would never have a crush on anyone! Admittedly, it being a goblin is a little…” She winced. “But I can be open-minded! I mean, I just finished a book where the human heroine fell in love with a half-orc and thought it was very sweet.”
Pansy groaned. “Blossom, it’s not like that! Ren’s a menace, and right now, all I care about is getting them out of my house before they manage to drivemeinsane. So, unless you have some suggestions on that front, you can keep your ridiculousromance novel plotlines to yourself!” She then snatched up a cookie and chomped into it with more force than was strictly necessary.
“Okay, okay!” Blossom said, throwing up her hands in surrender. “Are they really that bad?”
Pansy gave her a hard look. “They filled the house with dirt.”
“Ah. Well, that’s not very attractive, is it?”
“Not at all,” Pansy agreed. “And the worst part is that I’m not even allowed to clean it up because of the terms of our stupid bet! We can only add, not subtract.Ugh!”
“That does seem like quite the pickle,” Blossom said, nodding sagely. “Luckily for you, Idohave something that can help you win this little wager of yours.”
Pansy’s eyes widened. “You do?”
“Mm-hmm. Give me a moment, I’ll be right back.”
Blossom swept out of the kitchen, returning a minute or so later with a small, black kitten cradled in her arms. “You remember how Bella had kittens a few months ago?” she asked. “Well, this little guy is your ticket to a goblin-free home.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Goblinshatecats. Or so I’ve heard. From reliable sources.”
Pansy gave her a flat look. “Reliable sources? Really?”
“Yes.The Definitive Guide on How to Lose a Goblin in Ten Days or Less. Trust me, Pansy. This will work!”
The kitten, still tucked against Blossom’s breast, its fur a dark void against the white lace of her blouse, followed up with a soft mew of endorsement. Immediately, Pansy felt something inside her crumble.
