“Yes.” He met her gaze. “But before you go badgering me, I’m not going to tell you what I put in there. Those are my private thoughts.”
“As the woman you claim to love, I think I deserve to know.”
He stared at her with his mouth gaping open.
“What?”
“You said the L word.”
“In reference to how you feel.” She pursed her lips.
“I’ll make a deal with you.” He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “I’ll let you read it… after you tell me you love me.”
“That’s blackmail.”
“Not really,” he said. “All I want is for you to be honest about your feelings toward me.” He stole a quick glance.
She’d turned her head toward the window, finger in her mouth, chewing on her nail like she always did when he pushed too close to something real.
She was avoiding. Running without actually moving.
Interesting.
“I love you. And I’m just arrogant enough to believe you love me too.”
13
THE REFUGE—NEW MEXICO
Lark squeezed the new blue stress ball in her fist. It was harder than her last one, but soon enough, it would mold to her grip perfectly. She glanced around at the wide-open spaces as she walked along the path between their cabin and a building near the main lodge at The Refuge, Kawan at her side. She glanced up at him. God, he was handsome—all sharp jawline and easy confidence, with those dark eyes that seemed to see right through every wall she'd built. The way he leaned against the doorframe, relaxed but alert, like he was exactly where he wanted to be. With her. Despite everything she'd put him through.
When had that happened? When had she stopped seeing him as a complication and started seeing him as... hers?
She’d never really had a boyfriend. Not since high school, and those boys hadn’t really counted. They were simply guys she hung out with. They’d made life bearable.
Kawan was more than that. He was the calm amid the chaos—the harbor in the storm. Every single time they ended up together, he chipped away at her defenses and snuck pieces of himself into her heart. It frightened her, and not much made her want to turn and run. She was the person that the governmentcalled to do the jobs no one else wanted. She raced toward danger. No mission was too hot for her to plan—and execute.
But caring—loving someone— that stole her breath worse than when she'd been shot so many times she was certain she wouldn't survive.
“Thanks for this.” She waved the ball. “For the whole box of them.”
He looped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. “My pleasure.”
“I’m not used to people doing stuff like that.”
“I know,” he said. “Honestly, neither am I.”
“Come on. A guy like you. You’ve had girlfriends. Women who’ve cared enough to take care of you.”
He tossed his head back and laughed. Hard.
“Do not poke fun at me. Not unless you want to sleep on the sofa.”
“Not you I’m making fun of.” He cleared his throat. “Until you, I haven’t found myself fond enough of anyone to consider them a partner since my early twenties. Can’t say I’ve been in a committed relationship in years.”
“Not sure I’m ready to… define this.”
He smiled that sexy grin of his that said he thought he knew something she didn’t. “Ah, but that sounds like you’re heading in the right direction.”
