“You’re a grown-up.” Jupiter dropped his hands to his keyboard and tapped gently. “Besides, I’m tired of being yourwork wife.” He lifted his hands, cracked his knuckles, typed for a few seconds, sighed, and then leaned back again, shaking his head.
“Moose is still Thor’s,” Kawan muttered as he shuffled toward the kitchen.
“That man has always been unbearable until he’s had caffeine.” Jupiter kept his gaze glued to the screens, his lips drawn tight.
“You’re not any better.” Kawan strolled back into the living area, raising his mug. “No offense, Specs, but this actually tastes like coffee. Not swill disguised as slop.”
“Nothing I haven’t heard a dozen times before,” Specs said from her perch next to Jupiter.
The soft whir of the ceiling fan stirred the air, and Lark could almost believe the cozy scene created by The Refuge… meant safety. A word that now had a different meaning. As a kid, safety meant she had a roof over her head, food in her belly, and whoever she was living with at the time at least cared enough to ask about her day. As an adult, it meant she stood vertical. Now, her heart wanted more than to simply beat steadily in her chest.
She sat on the couch, studying Specs hunched over her laptop with lazar-sharp intensity Her demeanor was so different than Jupiter’s this morning. She was dialed in. Focused. Maybe a little too focused.
“Hey, Specs,” Lark said softly.
Specs tilted her head, shifting her gaze slightly. Her eyes flickered. It was a tiny spark, but it reminded Lark of when Specs would come alive when the pieces of a puzzle she’d been working behind the scenes fell into place. “Yeah?” The corners of her mouth tipped slightly upward.
“You sleep last night?”
“Some.” Specs’ gaze darted—for a split second—toward Jupiter. “Having nightmares. They wake me through the night.It’s hard. I sometimes don’t want to close my eyes and go back to sleep. But I know I need to. I know I can’t keep functioning on cake and my bad coffee.”
Jupiter pushed back his chair, squeezed Specs’ shoulder, then paced toward the kitchen. He hovered by the counter, sipping coffee from a dented mug, his shoulders stiff with unmistakable tension.
Lark wondered if that was from his obvious attachment—and attraction—toward Specs. Or was it from the grief and trauma that had consumed Specs? Lark learned forward. “Seems like you and Jupiter are getting along well.”
“Honestly, I couldn’t do this without him.” Specs rested her hands on the top of the desk. “Between being almost as smart as I am about coding and all things computers, it’s been nice to have him around when I start to fall into that dark place. He brings me back to the present.”
“I’m glad.” Relief flooded through Lark. Jupiter had given Specs something she couldn't—someone who wasn't drowning alongside her. Someone who could be strong when Specs couldn't be. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there?—”
“You couldn’t have pulled back.” Specs huffed out a breath. “That’s not easy for me to say. You’re the closest thing I have to a best friend. To family. But with everything that went down, if it was you being with me all the time, I might have really lost it.” Specs swiped at her eyes. “I saw that building collapse, and I thought you were…”
“Hey. I’m right here.”
Specs nodded.
“And you did everything right.”
“Doesn’t feel that way.” Specs rested her fingers on the keyboard. “It brought up that last case from when I was with the FBI. Watching that psychopath and how he hurt those…” She shivered. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it”
“None of that was your fault.”
“No. But it really sucked, especially when it came to Jonah Carson,” Specs said. “This mission, losing our team, nearly losing you, brought all that to the surface. And it kills me that he’s still out there, acting like he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You know the Feds haven’t given up.”
“Maybe not. But Jonah was able to destroy all the evidence. And according to my old contacts, for the last couple of years, he’s been a model citizen,” Specs said. “I call bullshit. There’s no way a sexual predator just stops.”
“Agreed.” Lark nodded. “Are you searching in places you shouldn’t for things Jonah might be doing?”
“No.” Specs shook her head. “You don’t need to worry about me going down that rabbit hole. I hadn’t realized the mission and my past had collided until Jupiter had to pull me from a cold shower where I’d been sitting and rocking for like an hour.”
“Jesus,’ Lark muttered.
“It was all very cathartic, and while I’m not necessarily okay, I’m exactly where I need to be.” Specs gestured toward her keyboard. “And I can work on this. I can do what we need so we can find out what happened to our team.”
“If you need time, don’t hesitate to pass things off to Jupiter and Ry.”
“I won’t.”
