We slip back onto the street, and I can’t help but stare at him. I’m so far gone on this guy, and I don’t even care. I put my arm through his, leaning against him a little as I press a kiss to his cheek. “You’re so good.”
He raises an eyebrow at that, a skeptical smile hooking the corner of his mouth while he unwraps a piece of gum. “What?”
“No, I just...you’re so nice to me, and you try to do the right thing. I don’t get why you’re not one of the good guys.”
He blinks at me like he didn’t hear me right. He pulls his arm out of my grasp, turning to face me. “What—because I’m not trying to be a superhero like Clayton?”
I sigh automatically and brace myself, realizing I fucked that up. “That wasn’t what I meant—”
“You don’t think it means less if you only do good things when you put them on blast?”
This feels familiar, like a conversation I had a hundred times with Clayton. I just wanted to pay him a compliment, but I worded it wrong, and now it’s going to turn into trying to apologize and walking on eggshells. Lunch date ruined.
I bristle, feeling indignant and tired of being chastised. It’s not even about defending my ex when I say, “That’s not what Clayton is like.”
“The whole thing is structured to feed his ego. The idea of beating up a guy you think you know did something wrong, not having anyone be able to tell you when you’re wrong, and then getting applauded for it?”
“He’s not just beating people up on the street who don’t deserve it—”
“But it’s not up to him to serve justice on his terms. Like, no, that’s the whole point of a society and a judicial system, flawed as it is, so that you don’t have one guy deciding to be Judge Judy and executioner.”
“It’s judge, jury—”
“I know what I said,” he replies curtly.
I swallow, staring back at him. He’s talking to me like he needs to convince me, but I agree that it’s not the best option, but what else are we supposed to do when a mutant bursts outof the sewers and starts pitching cars across the congestion-free zones?
I shake my head, unable to make eye contact. “Steel defends this city from mutant attacks—”
“You cannot honestly believe that.” Ellis scoffs. “I mean a ninety percent tax rate on any income and capital gains he makes would be more helpful to Goethal than he ever could be playing superhero—”
“This city needs its heroes,” I say, words I used to truly believe in. I don’t know anymore. Hot tears creep up along my eyelashes, no matter how much I will them back. I don’t know what he wants from me here, why everyone keeps backing me into this corner.
Ellis stares back at me, challenge in his eyes. It’s hard to believe that just yesterday being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world. “Come on. Tell me you’re not still defending him. After what he said on TV yesterday?”
My cheeks and neck scald with a knee-jerk flush of embarrassment. “I—I told him we needed to talk. He said we’ll get to it soon.”
“You’re actually joking,” he says slowly, in utter disbelief. He crosses his arms and shifts his weight from one leg to the other and apparently reassesses whatever he thought about me.
“If I don’t hear him out, what does that say about me?”
“That you’re fed up with his bullshit! That you’re not going to keep taking his shit any longer?”
I gasp, affronted. “I don’t take his shit.”
“You do, every time. You roll over and let him do what he wants,” he says, looking incredulous, making a dismissive gesture. Something defiant in me rises uneasily.
This asshole is really going to get on my case about not standing up for myself. Watch me do it right fucking now. “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you.”
A beat of silence passes between us, traffic honking distantly outside the alley.
“Jealousy? Are you serious? Lacey, he knocks you down every time you try to stand up to him.”
“I don’t—” I say, and my jaw welds shut on the words. A tear escapes, drawing a line of heat down my cheek.
My need to not cry in public turns me away from him, and I just start walking away down the alley. I don’t want to be here having this conversation again, and I don’t want to be spending my lunch break being condescended to by some guy.
Behind me, he calls out, “Oh, yeah? So then, you’re going to set things straight with Clayton, right? You’re not just going to let him push you around like that?”
