My hips buck, my pleasure peaks, and my balls draw up as every ounce of passion erupts from the inside out, makingmy orgasm implode. “Fuckkk,” I groan as my climax is ripped from me.
“Fuck, I love you, Hevan.” I drop my head into the crook of her neck; our breathing becomes labored, and our bodies wilt under the intense post-orgasmic bliss. “I love you, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.” Before she has a chance to grasp my words, I roll us so I don’t crush her, and rest her body over mine.
“What are we going to do?” she chokes out, and my arm tightens around her. She doesn’t miss a thing.
“You are going to fucking thrive. Leave that to me,” I say with determination.
She scrutinizes my face, and I feel the weight of her stare. It’s like she can see into my soul, and I shouldn’t be surprised; she always has. “What are you going to do, Azrael?”
I slide her off me and move off the bed to get dressed.
Her question is too much to bear. The answer is too fucking much, and a strange emotion has me wanting to run, to fucking leave right this second.
“Azrael! What are you going to do?” Panic is evident in her voice, and I wince, hating her feeling that way.
I slip my legs into my pants and tug them up, ignoring her question, then move to do my shirt.
She tosses the sheet off and stands to her full height. It’s almost like a switch has been flipped. Her cheeks glow and her lips twist, her temper bubbling over. “Answer me!” she screams. My fingers stumble on the buttons. “I deserve an answer!” she cries. “I lost our baby. I deserve a fucking answer!” Her hot tears spill over, and it angers me to see her like this, but it infuriates me even more I allowed it to happen, so I spin to face her.
“I lost that baby too!” I bellow.
“You didn’t even want our baby!” she yells back, and her words cause me to stumble back. They gut me to my core, robbing me of the capacity to breathe.
Is that what she truly thinks?
“I-I’m sorry,” she sobs, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Azrael.” I want to pull her toward me, to tell her everything is okay, but I can’t lie to her.
Nothing will ever be okay again.
The lump in my throat thickens, and I stare back at her, unable to move. My heart breaks as she unravels. She chokes on a sob. “Please. I don’t want you to leave me.” She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around her center. “Don’t leave me alone again.” Her words crush me, gut me, turning my insides. Is that what she thinks?
I move quickly, my toes almost touching hers, then lift her face, cradling it in the palms of my thick hands. I use the pads of my thumbs to brush the tears from her cheeks.
“I wanted that baby more than you can ever know.”
A gut-wrenching wail rumbles in her chest, but I remain steadfast. “I once told you, my world is a cruel and deadly one, Hevan, and this is my retribution. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to protect you both.”
She sniffles, and her hands tighten on my arms, and I never want her to let go. We hold onto one another like we’re each other’s lifelines, but the truth is, she’s my sacrifice.
The only good in my life.
“Promise me something,” I whisper, my vulnerability bleeding from me.
She searches my face and nods.
“Promise me you’ll love me just as much in my next life.”
Realization crosses over her face.
A keening noise ripples through her.
“Promise me,” I demand, firmer this time, through a sea of tears I refuse to let fall.
“I promise. I’ll wait a lifetime for you, I promise,” she wails, and her head crashes against my chest, so I hold her tightly, silently pleading with her to keep her promise. Then I flick the tip of the needle between my fingers and move it to the back of her neck. Her head darts up as the sting hits her, and she stares back at me accusingly, her bright-blue eyes fading into the abyss.
“You’re worthy, Azrael,” she whispers as her eyes close.
Her body slumps, and I lift her into my arms with ease, pressing my lips against her forehead. I lay myself bare. “Not yet, but I will be, la mia luce.”
