I glance toward Jensen and say my next words while remaining trapped in Hevan’s orbit. “Do whatever’s necessary to keep her safe.”
Jensen’s heavy sigh fills the room. He knows thisis going to lead to more questions, like what the fuck happened to the doctor who arrived to fix the girl?
“You can leave,” I tell the room.
The moment the door clicks shut, I kick off my shoes and round the bed, climbing on beside her. I relish the way she turns into me, resting her damaged head on my chest.
“I-I’m sorry.” My voice cracks as I whisper against the silky strands of her hair.My beautiful brave girl.
She sobs against my chest, and I don’t breathe a word.
I can’t.
What’s there to say?
It’s all my fault. My own family hurt her.
Each tear that pours from her pulls at the heavily guarded walls constructed around my heart, creating a cavern of regret and guilt I’ve become accustomed to not recognizing.
It’s like a punishment for every misdeed; every tortured soul that’s endured my wrath has led to this moment.
This is my penance, and hers, it seems, for falling in love with me.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Azrael
I stare intently out at the pitch-black sky, not a star in fucking sight.
Not one.
Not one light to guide me. Not one glimmer of hope.
Just blackness.
Even my nonna didn’t show up for me tonight and left me in hell with the monster that bore me.
“Where are you now?!” I bellow into the night. “Huh? Where the fuck are you now?” I shout at the top of my lungs, causing my chest to heave in quick succession. “Is this your punishment?” I feel like I’m crumbling, breaking apart every wall I ever built, the security of my emotions obliterated. Something has been stolen from me, something precious.
I take another drink from the bottle of Scotch. “You sent her to me and now you’re taking her back!” I sob into the night sky and take another swig of the alcohol. They tookthem both from me, the woman I love and a baby I would have adored. I might not have known what to do with a baby, but I would have tried. Fuck, would I have tried for them both.
This is punishment for her loving me.
Punishment for me pulling that trigger as a boy and stealing the light that was never mine to begin with.
“I told you I didn’t have it!” I shout into the night. “Are you fucking happy now? Is this what you wanted?” I hold up the bottle toward the sky, and with a mocking smile, my reckless words and thoughts race away with me. “Congratulations! You got your fucking wish,” I bellow.
“Azrael?” My head snaps to the side, and annoyance rumbles inside me when Czar marches toward me.
“Pull yourself together!” he snipes out.
I scoff in his direction. “For what? Hmm, for the family?”
His face softens. “For her.”
“He’s coming for you too. You understand that, right?” I mock.
He flinches.
