“You’re not getting it.” Hannah grips my shoulders, taking me so much by surprise that I step back. “It’s over for me, okay?”
“What’s over?” There’s a strange grimness to her face. Her jaw is clenched, as if the words hurt.
She drops her hold. “Everything. The band. The dream.”
“Hannah.” Why am I trying so hard to change her mind? “This isn’t you. In one of your interviews you said you were ‘put on earth to make music.’ I’m sorry—I don’t want to sound insensitive—but are you really going to throw it all away over your last manager?”
She goes rigid. Emotions pass over her face in quick succession— surprise, then pain, then anger. “Yes,” she says, with an eerie flatness. She starts to walk away, then stops. “And I don’t care how many of my interviews you’ve read. You obviously don’t know anything about me.”
Her disdain is a hot, sparking live wire, ready to ignite. This time, I let her go.
Across the rooftop, Harry Whittles stands, watching in horror as a group tosses condoms full of water, like wiggly, translucent jellyfish, over the roof. At the tiki bar behind me, I hear Hannah say, “Thanks for your services, gentlemen, but you need to bounce. If your boss gives you any trouble, blame tonight on me. Take everything but the beer. We’ll serve ourselves.”
I’ve lost control. I never lose control.
The whirring blenders cut out, and suddenly I get an idea. Harry may not appreciate it, and Hannah’s going to hate me even more than she already does, but maybe our relationship is beyond saving anyway.
I search the rooftop until I find the unobtrusive breaker box, crack it open, and flip the master switch. Immediately, the electricity cuts out and the rooftop is plunged into darkness.
I cup my hands around my mouth and bellow, “Party’s over! Go home!” to a chorus of booing. Someone yells back, “Fuck you, party police!” But I can make out the outlines of bodies picking themselves up and dragging themselves out of the pool, so at least they’re leaving.
I’m feeling my way around the pool in the dark, high on victory, when the clouds shift and moonlight illuminatesHannah’s face on the other side of the roof. Her eyes burn holes into me. The live-wire tension is now a stick of dynamite tossed into my hands.
I take a distracted step forward, gaze still locked with hers, but there’s no ground waiting to catch me. My foot hits nothing but air, and before I can make sense of what’s happening, I tip, arms windmilling, and fall sideways into the pool.
The cold is such a shock I don’t have time to catch my breath before I’m underwater, stinging chlorine shooting up my nose. I scramble to find my footing and surge to the surface, coughing, water streaming down my face, clothes clinging to my skin.
The first thing I see when I rub my eyes is Hannah’s face, grinning widely. Slowly—smugly—she salutes me. Then she turns and leaves.
I groan and sink into the water, looking up at the stars. Imagine what Bryan would say if he could see me now. Theo Ford and his self-defeating savior complex.
A gentle splash makes me glance over.
The topless woman from earlier swans by, powered by gentle backstrokes. She winks at me. “Hey, handsome. It’s our party now.”
God help me.
Chapter 5
Comments under video footage uploaded by TikTok user @surfergrooves, titled “The Saddest Shit I’ve Ever Seen,” 10.5M views (April 13, 2024)
Video footage shows a band playing onstage, shot in dim lighting. As the music swells, the lead singer falls to her knees. The video wobbles for a moment as a murmur travels through the crowd. Then the camera steadies and zooms in on the singer’s face. Though the quality is grainy, the woman’s expression is unmistakable: Harrowed. Desperate. She closes her eyes as her voice lifts, promising to get better.
@surfergrooves:Last night’s show at @thehideout mostly sucked but then the band played this at the end and I stg the whole room stopped breathing.
@daftpunkssss:I can’t stop watching. Who are these guys?
@surfergrooves:the future saints
@whyohwhyME:Damn this song gutted me. When she falls on her knees I’m pretty sure my heart cracked in half.
@sartresuperpowers:I don’t know if I’ve ever felt any emotion this intensely. Does that make me a robot?
@tswiftallday:This band only has 46k followers. We need to change that. This song is too good.
@hereforthefuzz:Hey, I know them. They opened for Dead to Rights a few years ago. The lead singer jammed with Booker Morris for one song and blew his vocals out of the water. This does NOT sound like their last album though.
@lauracaty78:I know how she feels. Wanting your life to be over so you can sink into the peace of not existing.
