To my surprise, Everett tipped back his head and laughed. It was almost a cackle, thin and edged with something sharp.
“You’re freaking me out.”
“Thehypocrisy.” He shook his head, smile lingering. “I guess when you’re in charge, you don’t have to play by the rules.”
“They’re God’s rules.”
“Sure, Ruth.” His expression grew pensive. “Do you think one of Fred’s friends got Beth pregnant? Or Fred himself? And that’s why she won’t tell?”
My mouth dropped open. “That’s disgusting. Seriously, where is your mind right now?”
Ever looked at me for long enough that I began to feel uncomfortable. Just as I was about to do something—shake his shoulders, walk away and leave him in the sand—he spoke. His voice was strangely gentle. “You’d be surprised how sadistic people are when they know they can get away with it.”
“Whoever the father is,” he continued, “he might be furious Fred’s forcing Beth to get rid of the baby.”
“Maybe it’s one of the Fortenot fishermen.” That was so scandalous it made me wince to say it, but Ever had all but called me naive.
He nodded, taking the idea seriously. “The way Fred’s been underpaying them and cutting their hours? Gerald Theriot and his guys are already raising hell. Wouldn’t surprise me if one of them seduced Beth just to spite him.”
“Where do you hear this stuff?”
Ever shrugged. “The garage. Or the bar when I pick up my dad. Trust me, you’ll learn everything you never wanted to know once those guys put down a few whiskeys.”
My mind raced. “I didn’t realize so many people hated Fred.”
“Why don’t they just run away?” Ever asked abruptly.
“What—who?”
“Mrs. Fortenot and Beth. Why don’t they run away, or kill him in his sleep and be done with it?”
I stood rooted in the sand. “Please tell me that’s gallows humor. Because they’d go toHell, Ever. Because it’s evil.”
He gave me a pointed look. “Not always.”
“Yes, always.” That was the law of God, written in stone and carried down from the mountain. And the law of man, the Almighty, and the courts weaving together to form an ironclad prohibition, a cage to stay our brutish hands. Ever and I had broken it, and one day, whether by man or God, we would be punished. “I don’t understand where all of this is coming from. Why’s Fred making you spin out?”
There was a moment of fraught silence, then Ever put his hands over his face and sank into the sand. “Ruth. I need to tell you something. There’s this feeling I get…these thoughts, eating at me. I can’t tell if they’re right or wrong, crazy or natural. But I can’t get rid of them.”
It was surreal to see Everett like this: vulnerable, armor falling off. I did the only thing I could think of, which was help him put it back on.
“Hey.” I crouched. “There’s a voice in my head, too.”
He didn’t move his hands. “There is?”
“Do you know what communion is?”
“Sort of.”
“You kneel in front of the pastor and drink grape juice and eat a wafer. It’s supposed to represent the blood and body of Christ.”
“How vampiric.”
“Yeah, well, when I was young, it was my least favorite part of church. You had to kneel in front of my father while the whole church watched and repeat his words back so everyone could hear. When it was myturn, I was always so nervous all I could do was whisper. No matter how frustrated my dad got, I couldn’t raise my voice.”
His demands, escalating in volume until they were thunder.This is my body: take it. This is my blood: drink it.
“Sometimes when I have a hard decision to make, I hear myself whispering the rites: ‘You will be saved. You must be good. Be good and be spared the lake of fire.’ I don’t know what it means that I’m still whispering it even in my own head, but it calms me.”
