“Ruth, it’s all for you,” Ever says, and kicks the wall of his ruined house. Somewhere inside, glass shatters. “Coming, going. Hurting, protecting. I’m always thinking of you, revolving around you. Everything else about my life was forced on me, but you’re what I chose for myself.”
What I chose.So close to what Nissa said:Choose your own path. And suddenly I know what I want. I’m the ultimate hypocrite, but I say it anyway: “Don’t kill him.”
“Ruth—”
“I know my father’s terrible, but—”
“I know he’s terrible,but. Trust me.” Ever spits in the grass. “As the son of an addict, I’m familiar with that song.”
“Please.” I don’t know what compels me—whatever sliver of love remains for my father, maybe, or some sliver of grace. I fall to my knees in the grass. “Don’t.”
To my surprise, Ever pulls me up. “You don’t have to beg. I want you more than any revenge. I won’t touch him if you don’t want me to. But we need to leave now, before they come back.”
Run away with Ever and leave my father to his kingdom. Leave my mother, Nissa and her husband, Lila, the Fortenot Fishing wives, all of the town to their fate.
I take a deep breath and shake my head. I don’t want my father dead, but I also don’t want that.
Ever blows out a breath. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Do you remember when we burned Renard’s necklace in the fire?” I watch him. I need him to understand.
“To see if the gold melted,” he says reluctantly. “If he cared as much as he claimed.”
“I need to do that to my father.”
“Why?”
“I need to know who he is in his heart. If there’s anything redeemable.”
A look of understanding dawns. “You want proof he’s worth leaving alive. A test.”
The Bible talks endlessly about parental sacrifice: God sacrificing Jesus, Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Tests of love and devotion. But what about what children sacrifice? What about the courage it takes to right our parents’ wrongs, course correct the mess they’ve left us?
I seize Ever’s hands. “I have an idea. But if we do it, there’s no trying to insist we’re innocent. We’ll go down as villains. Only you and I will ever know the truth.”
When he blows out a breath, I know I have him. “What do you need from me?”
“To call Sam Landry, steal one more thing, and run for your life.”
“You remember I’m not actually the Low Man, right?”
“I know. But Bottom Springs wants a beast.” I place my hands on Everett’s knife-sharp cheekbones, remembering the power I once gave him and taking it back, swallowing it, drinking his threat, holding the volatile substance in my chest. All that danger, all that potential, mine. “So I’m going to give them one.”
47
NOW
Night falls pitch-black. Against it, the stars have never been clearer, out in full force to witness what Ever and I have planned, our shot at infamy. It’s so velvety dark that on the walk to Holy Fire, we can see the torches blazing from a quarter mile away. The chanting doesn’t hit until later, but when it does, the sound of those familiar voices roaring for blood makes me reach for Ever’s hand.
People I’ve known my whole life, who watched me play as a child, fill the lawn around the church. They hold torches and pistols, shotguns, kitchen knives. I catch sight of Old Man Jonas with his fishing spear like Nissa warned. The chanting comes and goes, but when it swells, I catch the words, “Send him back to Hell.”
Ever lets go of my hand and slinks away silently, on his first mission. When he returns, he finds me crouched behind a truck in the parking lot, holding my breath. He hands me a packet of papers and I exhale.
“I was right?”
“Just like you said.” He takes his place beside me and studies the crowd. “Look at them. They’ve finally taken off their masks. They’re animals.”
“They’re scared,” I whisper. I can feel it in the air.
