He studied me. “Right now, the only thing I want is to fall asleep holding you.”
I moved closer and he wrapped his arms around me. I took deep lungfuls of his scent, pressing my cheek to where his pulse moved in his throat, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
When I was very nearly asleep and the world was warm and hazy, I felt him kiss my temple softly. Then he whispered, so faint it was barely more than a breath, “Whatever it takes, let me keep her.”
43
Election Night
“You really didn’t have to come,” I told my mom, opening my armsto hug her. I stood outside Lee’s house at dusk, stars shining weakly above us in the deepening sky.
“Nonsense.” She shut the passenger door and squeezed me. “I was planning to come the minute the news broke about you and Logan breaking up, but Lee said to give you time.”
“We’re always happy to make the drive.” Mom’s boyfriend, Ethan, climbed out of the driver’s side. “Nothing makes your mom happier than seeing you girls.”
I pulled back. “I’m sorry for lying to you about being in a relationship with Logan. For what it’s worth, I also wasn’t lying. It’s complicated.”
She kissed my forehead. “Alexis, honey, I’m your motherandyour director. And I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that good of an actor. I knew you were really in love.”
Before I could feel too chastened, Ethan interrupted, pulling an aluminum-wrapped casserole dish out of the back seat. “Where do you want the seven-layer dip?” The man was a wizard in the kitchen. Lee liked to say he’d wormed his way into our hearts through our stomachs. He also always dressed like a professor, which was not only endearing but a one-eighty from my father, who I remembered in business suits more often than not. I squeezed my mom’s hand. Sometimes the people who ended up being right for us were not the ones we expected.
“You can put it out in the living room,” I told Ethan. “The gang’s already here. Votes should start rolling in any minute.”
As Ethan hurried to deliver his dip, Mom turned to me. “How nervous are you, on a scale of one to ten?”
“Fifteen.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. All of Logan’s hard work and sacrifice came down to tonight. I’d never wanted anything so badly for another person.
“I’m feeling hopeful,” she said, tugging me toward the house. “He’s been doing great since the second debate. And since the commercial aired, not to toot my own horn.”
I laughed. “Toot away. I’m sure any gains he’s made this last week all come down to the commercial.”
Everyone had come to Lee and Ben’s election party: Claire and Simon, Mac and Ted, Muriel and Carmen, Gia and her husband. Even Will, that class act. Only Zoey and Annie were missing, off in the Maldives on their honeymoon.
Part of me was glad I wasn’t invited to the official campaign party. I didn’t think I could’ve handled this level of pressure while putting on a smile. It was hard enough wearing a brave face now. When my mom and I walked into the living room, every pair of eyes swung to me like I was the one whose fate would be decided tonight. Which, in a way, I guess I was.
As expected, Logan had been gone by the time I woke up in the hotel room, escaping in the early morning hours to minimize the chance someone would spot him. He’d left a note on the hotel stationary that saidOne last push.
“Pundits are saying Logan is polling really high.” Lee pointed her wine at the talking head on TV. “This last week since the debate has been huge for him.”
Ben nodded. “People liked his honesty at the debate. I think he could pull off an upset.”
They both sounded like they were trying hard to be optimistic.
“Why don’t you help me find serving dishes,” said my mom, steering me into the kitchen.
For a few minutes we combed through Lee’s cabinets in companionable silence. “I guess you were right about Ethan not taking it hard that you didn’t want to move in with him,” I said. “He seems cheerful as ever.”
Mom was silent for a moment, pushing past some of Ben’s protein mixers. But when she spoke, her tone stilled me. “Honey. What makes you think love is such a precarious thing?”
I drew up, letting go of the cabinet door. Wasn’t it obvious? “You and Dad. When he cheated, then left.”
She gripped the counter as she stood. “Your dad and I divorced, true. But none of the love our family had for each other went away.”
“But...” How did she not understand? “He stopped loving you. And you said it was because you stopped giving him what he needed.”
“I said that?”
“Yes. One night when I was crying and came to sleep in your bed.”
