“I—” Logan’s voice came out too thick. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t realize the two of you had plans tonight.”
“It was my boss’s wedding,” Will offered. I still couldn’t speak.
Logan’s eyes darted to me, then quickly away. “I think I misunderstood something. I’m sorry. I’ll let you two get back to your night.” He pushed away from the stoop and cut into the lawn to avoid walking past Will and me.
I watched Logan retreat for a single desperate moment before turning to Will. “Can you give me a minute?”
He frowned. “Everything okay? He seems...tense.”
“I’ll explain later. Just—stay right here, okay?” I took off as soon as Will nodded.
Logan was making great time, booking it down my street. I rushed after him as fast as I could in my dress and heels. “Stop!” I called. “Logan. Please.”
He came to a halt near a lamppost. When he swung to face me, I expected to see anger or frustration, but he was stone-faced.
“I’m sorry.” The words flew out, knee-jerk, as I made it to his bubble of light on the dark street.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Logan scrubbed both hands over his face and then...left them there. I resisted the urge to pull them back. Finally, he did it himself. And this time, all I saw was weariness. “I’m the one who owes you an apology. I shouldn’t have shown up like this. I thought you wanted to talk because...well, I thought after the library, you wouldn’t...” His gaze jerked back to my apartment, where Will was waiting. “You know what, never mind.” He shook his head. “All I seem to do lately is make the wrong calls. Mess things up, one thing after the other. I honestly think I lose my mind a little when I’m around you.”
“You didn’t mess anything up.”
He laughed and looked around. “I kissed you, Alexis. I promised you when we started that you’d never have to worry about me crossing lines. And I’ve worked so hard—” His voice caught. “I’ve worked so hard not to. Then I made a mistake.”
A mistake.There, in black-and-white, was the verdict I’d spent so much time wondering about: Logan thought our kiss was wrong. That’s why he’d come tonight. To tell me he was sorry and it wouldn’t happen again. “I kissed you back,” I said, my pride forcing me to say it. “If it was a mistake, we both made it.”
He blew out a breath. “Like I said, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who crossed a line, then I was rude to you, then I spent thirty-six hours in the middle of a crisis with half my head in the game and the other half wishing everything would disappear so I could find you and fix it.” He glanced in the direction of my apartment. “At least I clearly didn’t mess up you and Will. Since you were on a date...”
“Yes.” Why did I feel a pit in my stomach confirming it? Yes, we’d kissed, but Logan didn’t have feelings for me. He’d made that clear a few times now. So I didn’t owe him an explanation.
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing, like he was trying to swallow myyesfast.
“I’m not mad at you,” I said quickly. “Everything’s okay.” It was my oldest instinct, the lesson I’d learned from my father: repair the relationship. Swallow the fact that he’d hurt me so I didn’t lose him. Whether he was just a friend or something more, Logan was too important. Jesus, when had this man become so important to me?
He laughed. The bitterness was back. “Okay, Lex. If you say so. Well, whether you’re angry or not, I’m still sorry.” His eyes fell to my lips and lingered. With effort, he finally pulled them away. “I should go. I really need to sleep.”
“Don’t,” I said, but I couldn’t think of what to say next, a reason to keep him. The thing that always happened when I got overwhelmed was happening now: I couldn’t parse my thoughts. All I knew was I didn’t want him to leave.
Logan put his hands up, walking backward. “Trust me, I need to go before I say something else that messes everything up.” With one last look, he turned, and I watched him walk away in his wrinkled suit until he melted into the night.
When I made it back to my apartment, Will was leaning against my front door. “Alexis.” His voice was wary. “What’s going on with you and Logan?”
Of course Will had seen us talking. And of course we’d looked anything but professional. As soon as Will asked, the fog in my brain cleared and I knew what to do. As Nora had said, even romantic love was about your values, about putting your beliefs about the way the world should work into practice. And I believed in honesty and fairness.
“I’m sorry, Will.” I wanted to slump against the wall, but I forced myself to deliver this straight-backed, with the dignity Will deserved. “It’s gotten...complicated with Logan. And you deserve better.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do. You’re an incredible guy. In another lifetime, I think we could’ve been perfect.”
Will gave me a small, wistful smile. “But this is the lifetime where you met him?”
The answer was clear in my face. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Then I’ll see you around.”
“See you at Lee and Ben’s wedding,” I said, then wished for a sinkhole to swallow me. I’d never been on this side of a breakup before. It turned out I was bad at it.
Thank God Will was kind. He just smiled again and said, “Take care of yourself, Lex.” Then he became the second man of the night to walk away from me.
Alexis Stone: honest, fair, and alone.
