Will raised his eyebrows at me and smiled knowingly. It was the intimate look of two people sharing a secret. I cut my gaze over his shoulder, hoping Logan hadn’t seen—but sure enough, he was staring at Will, his eyebrows knitting together. And then I watched the truth hit. Comprehension dawned in Logan’s eyes and he slipped, falling to his elbows.
“Logan’s out!” Claire yelled. “Anyone want to put money on Alexis versus Will?”
Logan shoved himself off the mat and jumped to his feet, keeping his back to me. He slipped out of the circle and fled in the direction of the stairs.
“No need for a bet,” I said, dropping to my side. “I’m out, too.”
“Ladermandominance,” Ben crowed, pulling Will off the mat. “Never met a middle school party game we couldn’t crush.”
“No fair, Alexis threw the game,” Claire protested, but I ignored her and everyone else and hurried after Logan up the stairs.He knew.The second-floor hall was empty, which meant he was in “our” room. I cracked the door and found him pacing in front of the large windows, against the backdrop of a starry sky. He made it from one end of the rug to the other, then turned and started again, hands flexing like he was struggling to keep something inside. The sight of his suitcase lined up neatly next to mine in the corner of the room made my throat thick.
I slipped in and closed the door behind me. “Logan.”
He stopped moving, but didn’t meet my eyes. “How does Will know we’re not really dating?” His voice was low and contained. “Do they all know?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I promise.”
Logan’s chin lifted, and finally he looked at me, waiting for me to explain.
“I...” My mind scrambled for something, but of course I couldn’t lie. “I went on a date with Will. In secret,” I added quickly. “No one saw us. Trust me, our cover isn’t blown. But first he had to know that you and I—” I gestured weakly between Logan and me “—weren’t real.”
Logan was completely stone-faced, standing stock-still against the stars. I couldn’t read him beyond the tension in the way he clenched his jaw. Faced with his silence, I babbled. “It was Lee’s condition to endorse you. She wanted me to go on a date with Will to see if there was something there. I know it’s against our rules and if anyone had spotted us or taken a picture, it could’ve undermined your campaign, and I’m so sorry.” I was talking a mile a minute, desperate to change the hard lines on Logan’s face. “For some reason Lee got it into her head that Will and I would hit it off and he has this wedding coming up he needs a date for and I—I’m sorry for keeping it a secret and for ambushing you. I had no idea Will was coming this weekend.”
It sounded like the most pathetic excuse in the world—I’m sorry the secret I was keeping from you got so inconveniently blown. I flinched, waiting for Logan’s explosion, or maybe the barrage of barbed quips like I would’ve gotten from previous boyfriends. But Logan didn’t speak. He didn’t even move. His eyes were fixed on the large four-poster bed between us. I watched as a thousand emotions played over his face, each one flickering, then quashed, like he was wrestling them under control. He was working to keep himself in check, but I wished—I wished he would just open up. Yell if he wanted to. I needed to decode him.
“Please tell me what you’re thinking.” I moved around the bed to get closer. “I know I violated the terms of our agreement and you’re angry and Nora’s probably going to sue me—”
“Was your sister right?” His eyes were still fixed on the bed. His voice was quiet. While I couldn’t quite parse his emotions, he didn’t sound angry.
I froze at the unexpected question. “What?”
Each word sounded like it cost him. “Did you hit it off with Will? Is he someone you could see yourself with?”
There—I could read that. Logan was steeling himself. He wanted to know if I was going to make this relationship with Will an ongoing problem for him.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I won’t see him anymore.”
“But do you want to?” He looked at me finally, his eyes searching, voice urgent. “Would you, if it wasn’t for me?”
I blinked, unable to track the permutations of his thoughts. “Well—yes. I guess if you and I didn’t have this...arrangement... I could see myself with him.”
Why did this feel so painful? Logan had grown into my friend, and besides, I’d been waiting all day for his hammer to drop, for him to tell me we should end our fake relationship. “What were you going to tell me?” I was desperate to segue. “That thing, in private. You were going to say our thing has gotten too complicated, right?”
Logan laughed—a curt sound that burst from him. He closed his eyes. “No, I...you know what, it doesn’t matter anymore.” When he opened his eyes, my breath caught at the torrent of feelings he couldn’t hide. “Can you excuse me?” he asked. “I just need a minute.”
I didn’t even get a chance to respond before he’d barreled past me out the door. It shut behind him and I stood alone in the empty room, blinking at where he’d stood, my surprise thick enough to hold off the disappointment, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Soon there would be tears in my eyes—I could never help it. I lowered myself gingerly on the corner of the bed, feeling a hot, pricking sensation in my face.
Then the door flew back open and Logan strode in, his hair sticking on end like he’d touched an electrical wire. I startled and gripped the comforter. He stopped in front of me. How he’d managed to come back after a minute looking like he’d aged a year was beyond me.
“That night at the Hideaway,” he said, voice thick. “You said you were looking for something real. That once we were done, you were going to try for it. Well, if you found it, I’m not going to be selfish and stand in your way.”
“What are you saying?” My throat felt like it was closing.
He held my eyes. “You should date him.”
“But what if—”
He shook his head. “If you get caught and our cover is blown, I’ll deal with the consequences. You deserve something real.” He smiled bitterly. “That’s what I was going to say to you tonight.”
