“I don’t want to be the—” I started, but Lee rolled right over me.
“What’s the plan? You’re going to stand by Logan’s side, silent and smiling pretty, while he tackles all the substantive policy questions with his big man brain? That’s everything I fought against with that douche-canoe Hayes Adams. You remember—you were there!”
“Of course I remember.” Lee had run against Hayes Adams, a high-profile billionaire, for her state senate seat. Misogyny had run rampant in everything from the different treatment they got from reporters to the public’s reception of each of their strong personalities. While Lee got questions about what designers she was wearing, Hayes got policy questions. And even though Hayes was a self-proclaimed feminist, he’d let it go unchallenged. “This is totally different.”
“You just met the guy days ago. Do you even agree with his ideas? Oh, God. What if he’s one of those Democrats who supports charter schools or carbon taxes? That’s our name attached.” Lee didn’t give me the opportunity to tell her I’d vetted him before she was on to the next question. “What is Logan Arthur even doing running for governor? That child is like, twenty-five years old.”
“He’s older than you!”
“Honestly, who does he think he is?”
“Oh myGod,” I said, sounding like a teenager. Behold the terrible time-traveling power of arguing with your sibling. “First, Logan’s a progressive running against a Republican for control of the state, so you should be all over that. Andof courseI agree with his politics—so do you. In fact, he wants to build on your Green Machine law and require all private contractors to go green if they want a government contract.” I felt a triumphant second wind at Lee’s expression: she was impressed despite herself. Truly, Google had never let me down. “Second, you sound jealous.”
“That’s ridiculous. I don’t ever want to be governor.” Lee got a faraway look in her eyes. “Do I?” She shook her head. “No. I’m running for Congress when my term is up. The point is, you’re volunteering to be an accessory for this guy and you don’t even know if youlikehim.”
“Ben stands next to you and he’s not just an accessory. I won’t be Logan’s.”
A speculative look crept into her eyes. “Wait a sec. You’re doing that thing you do—making that face. Alexis Stone, are youintoLogan? Is that why you’re doing this?”
It was my turn to sputter. “Of course not. Did I think he was a good candidate for a one-night stand? Sure, I’ll cop to that.” Even the memory of Logan grinning at me from across the table had my heart rate spiking. “But in my defense, I haven’t slept with anyone in months. My judgment is cloudy.”
“Ew, Alexis! No wonder you’re making terrible decisions. You need to sleep with someone immediately. Do you want me to make a call?”
“No!” I pulled at my hair and a disconcerting amount came off in my hands. Arguing with Lee should come with a health advisory. “I’m just saying, it never went beyond physical attraction. Idothink Logan has great policy ideas, but personality-wise, he’s a menace. Arrogant, thinks he’s smarter than everyone, has zero concept of the difference between alielie and a white lie.”
“Huh,” Lee huffed. “He sounds like my type, not yours.”
“Don’t get any ideas.”
“Please.” She shot me an injured look. “You know I’m reformed.”
We glared at each other, trapped in a deadlock, neither of us willing to admit that the conversation had veered so far off course we’d forgotten precisely where it was supposed to go.
“Aha!” She snapped her fingers. “You’re a trophy wife. That’s why I’m mad.”
“I get something out of this, too,” I protested. “They’re going to give me whatever I want as soon as I figure it out. They promised.”
Lee’s face fell, her features shifting into an expression a million times worse than anger. Disappointment.
“Lee—” I tried to stave it off.
But she bent and scooped her heels from the floor. “You know what? It really sucks watching you wait around so hopefully for people to give you things they’re never going to give you. Especially when it comes to men. You’ve got to stop letting other people control your life. Stop playing second fiddle.”
I’d been reaching to halt her, but stopped short.That’swhat she thought of me? It was one thing to reflect on my own areas for improvement, but another to have Lee—the person I admired most in the world—voice the same thoughts. But like always, the anxiety of being in an argument made my stomach tighten and throat feel thick, so I could barely speak. “I don’t think that’s what I’m doing,” I managed.
She looked at me and sighed. “I don’t want to fight, Lex. But I’m your big sister. I have to call it like I see it. I know you have a spine in there. For once, I’d like to see you use it.” She walked out, squeezing my shoulder as she passed. I listened to the front door open and close quietly, but remained immobile in the living room.
Okay. That one hurt.
10
Life Is Short, Art Is Long
“If she would’ve just told him about their love child and not felt shehad to raise the baby in secret, the prince would’ve rebelled against his family and whisked her away to his castle in Italy.” Muriel sighed. “Trust me, I’m all for independent women, but it’s a crime to be that stubborn.”
The teacher’s lounge was mercifully empty today: just me, Muriel, and Gia sitting at the coveted corner table, aka the table farthest from the microwave and all its weird ambient smells. Our romance book club meetings were always lively when there was no one around to inhibit our deep dives into the steamy scenes.
“But if Sophiadidn’thave a stubborn streak, the book would be fifty pages, max,” Gia countered. “It would be nothing but a meet-cute and sex scenes.” She and Muriel fell silent for a moment. Then Muriel said, “I’d rather like that, come to think of it. What about you, Alexis?”
