I tried to contain my disappointment. I was supposed to be mad at him for leaving without warning, not aching for him to kiss me.
I scrunched my eyes shut even tighter. His warm breath caressed my face. His hands slid from my shoulders, over my neck, to the base of my skull, cradling my head.
We stayed there for long heartbeats, sharing breath, neither of us willing to shatter the fragile moment.
He exhaled heavily before he spoke. “I am going to speak, and I would like you to listen to everything before you respond.”
His scent was hypnotizing me. Lulling my senses. His grip on my head kept me solid.
“What do you mean? What if I hav–”
“Fiella,” he interrupted me. “Please.”
With a sigh, I agreed.
“You already know the story about why I left Sunhaven, but that isn’t what I told my family when I departed. I just fled as quickly as I could,” he stated. “I knew I had to go back. To check on them. To make sure they were okay. My Ma had sent me a few letters, but they were strange.” He shook his head. “I was already planning to go, but then you asked me out.”
“I didn’t! I–”
“Fiella,” he chastised me.
“Sorry. Continue.”
“There was never the right moment to tell you. And then we kissed, and then you slammed the door in my face, and… I just left.” He sighed, caressing the back of my head with slow strokes of his fingers. “For a moment, just a moment, I considered never coming back.”
I tried to object but he pressed his thumb over my mouth, silencing me. “I know. I know, Fiella. But I couldn’t. Did you hear that? Let me say it again so you understand me completely. I couldn’t stay away from you. The thought of never seeing your face again, never hearing your laugh, never…” He shook his head lightly, as though clearing those thoughts away. “I couldn’t take it. It made mesick.”
His thumb rubbed over my bottom lip, gently, back and forth. A shiver crawled down my spine.
“I had to come back. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I let you go without telling you how I feel. Without taking a chance. Because even if you take my heart and stomp all over it, I had to at leasttry.”
He released me and stepped back, finally meeting my gaze. My skin felt cold without his warmth.
I knew what the action meant. He was giving me a moment to think, to process, to breathe. But he didn’t go far.
The space between us was small, but it contained the whole realm.
“So, what do you say, my sweet Fiella? What will it be?”
I found myself speechless once again.
CHAPTER 38
Fiella
Istared into Redd’s eyes, getting lost in the deep hue that seemed to swallow me whole. I could reach out and touch him if I was brave enough to. I could close the gap between us in an instant.
He stared back at me, a man ruined, his entire soul bared on his face.
This moment would change everything, and we both knew it. What happened next would decide our fates.
The moment lingered, neither of us willing to take the leap and risk the outcome. My heart pounded in my ears, a flush crawling up my cheeks at his proximity.
I could sense his blood pumping under his skin, his flesh begging to be licked, to be bitten.
He leaned toward me infinitesimally, the gap between us shrinking. His lips hovered only a few inches from mine.
I inhaled, pulling air deep into my lungs. His mint and sandalwood scent enveloped me, soothing my jagged nerves and overwhelming my senses.
