“Yeah,” she agreed softly. “I’ll try. But I can’t promise… I keep waiting for the arrow to hit me, you know? I can’t justwillthat feeling away.”
He thought a moment, frustrated that she couldn’t just accept how he felt, but trying to see it from her point of view. Cassia hadn’t lived the life he had. They’d both dealt with unexpected bad fortune, but his had been defined by love and family. Hers had been a constant, unending loss, of her parents, and her homes, and now her brother.
“All I can do is hope I prove you wrong some day,” he informed her. “And hope you give me a chance to. Cassia… are you sure you don’t want to talk about tonight?”
“I just wish we didn’t have to split up,” she admitted. “Maybe I shouldn’t; it’s a lot to expect you all to take in Rylan, too, and I know he’s in a bad sort of trouble. But it terrifies me that he’s just vanishing off somewhere I can’t get to.”
He couldn’t help but feel a surge of worry at the idea of Rylan living side-by-side with Cassia. He didn’twantCassia to lose her family, but from what little he was piecing together aboutRylan, Aevrin wasn’t sure he liked or trusted the man. Rylan was responsible for getting Cassia hurt.
A small part of him wished Rylan would go so far away he never interfered with her life again. But he knew that wasn’t fair. If it was one ofhisbrothers messing up Aevrin’s life, well… family was complicated. And it was up to Cassia to decide how she felt and what she wanted.
“Well, you never know,” he said, thinking and trying to be fair about it. She peered up at him. “Just because he’s going now doesn’t mean he’s gone for good.”
“I hope not,” Cassia whispered. “Rylan… well, he made some mistakes. But he’s got a good heart.”
Aevrin grunted, because he couldn’t quite bring himself to agree with that in words. He’d seen the state Cassia was left in, after all.
“Well, when he’s settled, I’m sure he’ll write,” Aevrin suggested. “Just because he’s moving on doesn’t mean he’ll be gone forever.”
“I know. I wish I’d saved more splendors to give him.”
He crushed his initial reaction ofwhat,allof it?Andto a man like that? It was Cassia’s right, and he guessed Rylan would need it. But still… he sighed, eyes closed.
“You gave him your money? The money you’ve been earning?”
“Are you angry?” Cassia asked. “I’m still going to pay you back, I swear. I wasn’t thinking about it being money I owed to you, too, just that I needed Rylan to get where he was going safely.”
Aevrin’s eyes startled open.
“What? Cassia, we talked about this. You don’t owe me back.”
“The healerfees—”
“It’s notyourfault you got hurt.”
“It’s more my fault than yours. I was responsible for him.Icharged after him, knowing it was dangerous. You paying it all makes a good deal less sense than me paying it does.”
“Except I can afford it right now. Cassia…” he sighed, pleading. “Can’t you let that go, and start keeping your money for yourself?”
“No.”
“Even if we’re, well, together?”
“Especially not then. We’re too unbalanced, Aevrin. I’m living at your Gramma’s house, taking her money—”
“For a job,” he amended.
“—and taking yours, too. I want to pay it back. I don’t feel like I’m your equal, I feel like I’m your pet.”
He sighed and thought about it a moment. He didn’t at all see it like she did, and Cassia needed spending money of her own. Or was she going to fight against getting winter clothes, or new shoes, or anything else, whether for fun or for need? When Aevrin didn’t even notice it was missing?
“You really feel that way?” he asked. She nodded solemnly. “Then let’s do some kind of payment plan,” he suggested. “Five outta each payday, and you keep the rest.”
He’d stash it away and save up for something. Something for the both of them, or a gift for Cassia.
“Five? That’ll takeforever!50?”
“Naw, Cassia. That’s too much. Ten?”
