“Like that one about the sitting window. That was a good one. So, y’know… if I’m gonna break ground next spring, wanna start getting it drawn up now…”
“Aw, man,” Sorven said from the kitchen table. “I wish I could go. I’m getting so bored. No offense, Miss Cassia, I just miss being outside. I’d probably have gone crazy by now without you to talk to.”
“So go sit on the porch instead of talking her ear off,” Aevrin growled.
“Just let me stick this in the preservation chest,” Cassia told Aevrin, gesturing at the dough she’d been about to roll out. Her heart pounded unevenly. “I'll meet you out front in a second.”
She was wearing her dress and cardigan again. Aevrin was right; it was warm out. As Cassia stepped out onto the porch she pushed the sleeves up her arms. He was leaning on the porch wall, staring out at the view of the mountains. When Cassia shut the door he straightened and turned.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yup. Is it far?”
“Not at all,” Aevrin told her. “It’s gonna be on the same well and everything.”
Cassia still didn’t quite get why Aevrin needed her for this, though her whole body was humming at being alone with him again. But she wasn’t a builder; whatever ideasshehad for his house wouldn’t have a thing to do with the land it would sit on.
And considering he’d made clear why he was dreaming about the house, she sort of wished he’d invited her to do something else. Anything else. Saints, she’d be happier to scrub out the necessary with him. Did he really needherhelp if he wanted to daydream about the life he’d build with some other woman?
Cassia crossed her arms and followed him down the stairs and out past the left corner of the house.
“And you’re really going to start building it soon?” Had hemetsomeone in the last ten days? Who? How? Maybe someone he’d already known, like a girl from one of the neighboring ranches.
“Well, I dunno. Guess I’d like to.”
“Are you going to hire someone?”
“Guess I’d better,” he admitted. “I can do some of the stuff, but time’s the real problem.”
“Isn’t it expensive? Building a whole home?”
Aevrin shrugged, clearly unconcerned. “I’m not planning to put in a palace, Miss Cassia.”
They were walking across a scruffy nettle field, one that hadn’t been burnt in a while, towards the craggy mountains. Straight ahead of them there was a short stretch of fence (wooden, proof the cattle didn’t come here) with a large iron oak. A hundred meters or so behind it rested the old stone cabin she’d spied before.
“Well, here we are,” Aevrin said as they arrived at the fence. He clapped the weathered top beam with his palm.
Cassia stared at the stretch of ground past the fence, the shade cast by the tree, the enormity of the mountains. She turned slowly and took in the landscape and the view of the main house, so close you could walk there for a cup of flour if you needed it. It hadn’t taken them more than two or three minutes to reach the fence.
“Looks perfect to me,” she admitted quietly.
He vaulted the fence, though it wouldn’t have taken long to go around—it didn’t box in the lot—and offered a hand to Cassia. She stared at it for a moment, heavy-hearted. The wind rustled through the leaves of the oak.
He was pretending mighty hard nothing had changed between them. It was one thing when his family was around, but with just the two of them lightning crackled in the air. Cassia’s stupid kiss kept ringing in her head. The constant reminders that Aevrin was handsome, and kind, and made her laugh weren't helping the heartache she felt knowing he could never in a million years be hers.
She was pretty positive, from the looks she’d seen him give her, that Aevrin was physically attracted to her, but what she wanted was more than that. And there wasn’t a chance of anything real between them. Some people could flirt and stare without getting their feelings involved, maybe, but Cassia wasn’t made that way. And even if Aevrinthoughthe wanted her more deeply than that, he’d change his mind eventually. There was an awful lot Cassia liked about herself, but she wasn’twhole, like some people were. She was far too broken and jagged-edged to fit neatly into the Riveker’s lives for more than a short span.
Even Rylan, the one person she’d thought would be family forever, had eventually grown tired and pushed her away.
Two weeks ago she would have grinned and let Aevrin help her over the fence. She probably would have fallen right into his arms on the other side, and they’d have laughed and carried on their way like it was nothing. But now her heart couldn’t stand any more strain than all the weight already on it.
“I’ll just walk,” Cassia said. Aevrin’s expression fell, but he nodded. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as Cassia picked her way slowly around the fence.
“You wanna go back?” he asked when she reached him, his voice a little strained.
She looked at him, feeling sheepish, and shook her head no. She might be hurting and little embarrassed that she’d let her feelings get so out of control, but this was clearlyimportant to Aevrin. And if she wanted to keep him in her life, she had better push down all the hurt and just be his friend. She’d have to get used to the idea of him with someone else eventually.
Well. Alright. So this was the place he was going to build his house and live his life and raise his babies. She crossed her arms and turned to face it again from inside the fence, trying to look critically, from an unbiased point of view instead of the selfish, heartbroken one she’d been wallowing in.
