This situation has gotten out of hand, but I know why they assume I’ll fall in line. I’ve been groomed. They’ve taught me, and most of my colleagues, to swallow their machinations and taste leadership. I must admit, sometimes I applaud their tactics. But sometimes, they flaunt their obsessive need to control, like when business casual Friday came with a dozen pages of charts on sleeve lengths and fabric weaves.
That was absurd. This is appalling.
As Hardwin sits taller in his chair, he grabs the mother-of-pearl buttons on the front of his shirt and yanks against his girth. “It’s simply a first step. Just the application. At any point we can drop the filing, but we have to send this message.”
I open my mouth.
He continues. “Letting her go is no longer sufficient. You know they wanted her gone almost a week ago.”
I swallow a snort. Why would he feel the need to soft-pedal his authority in this situation?
Hardwin isthey.
At the sharp knock on the door, my shoulder blades tighten.
A dough-faced young man, wearing what looks like his father’s old suit, pushes into the opening. Although I can’t place him, the eager look in his eyes must mean he’s one of Hardwin’s guys. “She, uh... Betsey trashed Meredith’s office.”
A heat blooms in my chest.
“Alyssa had to call Maintenance. It’s a mess.” His words continue to slam into me.
I try to rise from my chair. My knees scrape against the mahogany apron of the desk. I’m wedged in way too close. Betsey trashed my office? Violated my space?
I twist and free my legs. My muscles tense. I’m ready to shove this chair, this desk, this ridiculous young man, out of my way. I stagger to my feet.
Two sets of eyes watch me, waiting for me to lose it.
3
I FORCE MYSELF TO SIT BACK IN MY CHAIRand breathe like the professional I imagine myself to be. The concern on Hardwin’s face is tinged with something else, something hopeful. Maybe if I too become erratic, he can justify proceeding on his own, bypassing me entirely.
I stare down at the document in front of me.
How dare she.
I haven’t spoken to Betsey since she did her first broadcast interview a week ago. There wasn’t a hint of trouble in the video segment, but a day later, while in Cincinnati, she got into a shouting match with a financial advisor. Even that could be explained away. But then she never showed for her main-stage presentation at the Impact Conference. I’ve left a dozen messages.
But the train wreck was yesterday, Sunday, when she was fired. Now this. And how did she even get in the building?
“Is Betsey here? I thought we asked her to come in this afternoonand sign the separation agreement.” My voice is not as shaky as I feared.
The law associate, still in the doorway, bumps into the office. His lips curl as if he wants to add shade to the edges of his gossip.
Hardwin’s massive hand slices through the air like a dorsal fin through the surf. He is done with these theatrics. Erratic aggression and office trashings don’t happen at thisglobal financial institution with over one hundred and fifty years of prosperity and integrity. I parrot from the elegant Garman Straub brass plaque on his desk.
“Thank you,” Hardwin booms, expressing anything but gratitude.
As the young man retreats, the door clicks shut. He will spread his news, and all the teams will soon be in a lather.
“She was here. Her badge was still active. I take responsibility. Apparently, she had more to say to you.” Hardwin’s arm is still suspended in the air as if he’s planted his flag. To his left, a sepia-hued image of him hangs on the wall. He’s barreling across the Harvard turf with a football tucked in his elbow. His other arm extends out like a battering ram. His hands and what they signal are legendary.
This space is his kingdom.
My office is my refuge.
Even with the guidance of executive coaches, I’ve struggled to establish a personal brand, which is the hallmark of other Wall Street darlings. They have a voice and a style that attracts followers, like short sellers to a bear market. Much to the exasperation of my hired guns, I’m not a lone-wolf portfolio manager. Every day, we make investment decisions within the funds to achieve our clients’ investment goals. From stock selection to tax-efficient trading, we do it as a team. I’ve never felt comfortable owning any trademark, especially my own.
But my office has been my sanctuary. I knew the moment I stepped foot into the glass-walled space how I’d redesign the layoutand choose fabrics to breathe peace and creativity into the sterility. I curated a place for high-performing teams.
