He drops my arm as if he’s been burned.
“It’s just that—”
“See you tonight.” The light in his chestnut eyes fades and he turns away.
21
ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE,I expect Betsey to appear from around every corner. My hand fumbles around in my purse until I finger the bent corner of the torn envelope. There’s no way she understands what she witnessed.
All is quiet as I walk to my office. Before locking my purse and bag in my wardrobe, I check the time. Three minutes after five. The town hall has just begun.
As soon as the elevator doors open on the thirty-ninth floor, a sea of sound washes over me. Conversations, laughter, and the tinkling of dishes emanate from the Bull and Bear conference room about twenty yards away.
I grab a mocktail with a sprig of spruce from the silver tray just inside the door. There’s beer, wine, and an open bar ready to make a wide variety of cocktails, but I’m loving the trend toward interesting flavors without the spirits. I take a sip of the woodsy tonic and find myself surrounded by traders, analysts, and marketing folksclinking glasses to the success of our funds. While praising each one of their contributions, I also scan the room for Hardwin or Terrence. Although I’d love to simply ask my boss what they decided to do with Betsey’s data, there is deference to be shown by allowing one of Phil’s other direct reports to deliver the news. Also, Phil is the CEO. I tread lightly with what I ask of him.
Best to start with our chief legal counsel. Actually, best to start with one of his trusted lawyers. Get the inside scoop so I know how to show up when they come for me. Because they will come.
Unless... Maybe they determined the data is fake and we can move on from this nightmare. Maybe Betsey was just joking about confronting my husband on Friday. And maybe I’m trapped in a stage production produced by brilliant twentysomethings exploring the ludicrous notion of work-life balance. Maybe I’m going insane.
I excuse myself from the group as I spy one of the lawyers who helped with the filings when we first launched the ETFs. Months of late nights to get the paperwork to the point where the SEC would have no reason to deny us. We learned each other’s favorite take-out restaurants and the intramurals we played in college. I’m taking another sip of my delicious drink when a large hand pats my shoulder.
“Meredith, nice event.”
Sometimes I forget how tall Hardwin is until I am standing next to him. Across a desk or in a conference room, he seems less of a mountain.
“Thanks. Was looking for you and your team. They were instrumental in getting us launched on time and without incident.”
“As is expected,” he says flippantly. “Look, we need to talk.”
“Of course. I’m scheduled to go up and say a few words, and then maybe after—”
“Phil’s going to go up. It’ll be good to have him give his thanks.Everyone knows how you feel.” He scrunches his nose like I’m an endearing little thing.
Do they? I doubt anyone around here ever knows how I’m feeling. We don’t transact in feelings. And right now, I’m feeling very rattled, as if I’m standing in the station, everyone rushing by to catch their train, and I have no idea where my track is or even where I’m going. Hardwin doesn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps he doesn’t care.
“Let’s head to my office.” He swings his arm around to guide me but stops just short of touching me.
“Hardwin.” Dave strides up, blocking our progress to the door.
“If it can wait, I need to catch a word with Meredith.” Hardwin indicates the door.
“Phil needs you.”
Hardwin grumbles and then takes a small step back. He’s surprisingly light on his feet and seems to always be spatially aware. After all this is over, I should ask him more about his years playing ball.
“Meredith, I’m sorry. Our conversation will need to wait.” He almost bows in sincerity.
“I understand. Do you want to find me when—”
“I’ll talk to her.” Dave lifts his chin to Hardwin. Inches taller than me, Dave still needs to look up to make eye contact with our chief legal counsel.
Hardwin hesitates.
“I was in the room. I know what needs to happen.” There’s a constrained energy emanating from Dave. He almost vibrates with it.
“I’m happy to wait.” I take a step back, pulling alongside Hardwin. On this day, of all days, I have no desire to be alone with Dave. And he looks way too eager to deliver his news.
“No.” Hardwin nods. “Dave’s right. I’ll catch up with you later.” He turns and strides away.
