Shit.
And Nellie. Why the hell did he have to go after her, get back in his car with her? That totally grates on my nerves.
“It’s not like we did anything,” he said when I asked him about it.
We were alone by the garden, him standing there with his hands dug in the pockets of his cutoffs, looking guilty.
“Whatever,” I said, twisting away from him to water Mom’s poison garden. “But you could just, like, think about how all this makes me feel.”
“I felt sorry for her! That’s all there is to it! And I do like her, as a friend. But this is impossible. Hiding from everyone—”
“Shhh, keep your voice down. You know Julia’s always lurking—”
He moved closer so that he could talk in a whisper. “You know you’re the only girl for me, Jane Swift. And I want you so bad—I wanna do so many things to you right now—”
My anger turned to jelly. I’m always putty in his hands. The thought of us actuallydoing it—especially now that I’m eighteen—makes me feel like I’m a giant Ferris wheel, spinning in the sky,about to drop eighteen floors.
I love this boy so much, can’t wait for us to get the hell outta here, hop a train to New York with our suitcases and nothing else. We don’t belong here. It’s starting to make us crazy. It’s too much pressure, this hiding.
“I love you, Jane Swift,” he murmured in my ear, his breath tickling my neck, before Mom came out on the front porch, calling us in for dinner. Splitting us apart.
After we ate an embarrassingly simple meal of black beans and corn bread with a salad I made from tearing a hunk of romaine from the garden (Padoesneed more clients), I stood side by side with Mom at the sink.
Soap bubbles tickled my arm as I washed dishes while she dried and put them away.
Everybody else was on the back porch, listening to Pa play his guitar.
Mom twisted the faucet, making the water hotter.
“Ouch! That’s too hot.”
“If you don’t get the temp up, you don’t kill the bacteria,” Mom said, her lips in a tense line.
Normally I would relent, but it hurt with my sunburn, so I twisted it back down.
Mom sighed.
“I’m sunburned!”
“And whose fault is that?” She gave her head a sharp shake. “Saw you being real friendly with Luke earlier in the garden.”
The hairs on the back of my neck pricked up.
“We are justfriends. Just cause he’s a boy doesn’t mean there’s somethin’ going on.”
“Well, Julia said you were whoring it up down at the swimming hole earlier.” She slapped her drying rag on the counter, jammed her hands on her hips while staring me down, daring me to say something.
I laughed. “I don’t even know what that means. I didn’t even kiss anyone—” I was scrubbing a teacup with so much force, I thought it might shatter in my hands.
Mom’s palm flew across my cheek, stinging my sunburn. Felt like she held a match to my skin.What the…?
“You’re not foolin’ me, young lady. I didnotraise you to behave like this!” She was shouting now, her words ringing through the cabin.
“Mom, what are you talking about?” I said, holding my cheek, which still throbbed.
“Julia! She told me that you were parading around out theretopless! Like some kind of stripper or something! If you’re not careful, you’re gonna wind up like—”
Fury rose behind my eyes; I wanted to strangle Julia for tattling on me, wanted to strangle Mom for acting like such a controlling bitch. “Likewhat?”
