It’s the kind of lashing wind that kicks up before a summer thunderstorm, which I wish would erupt right freaking now so the pelting rain could help sink the body.
I’m shaking, I realize, and have to hug myself in order to keep from quaking.
Calm. I need to calm the fuck down.
Come up with a plan.
Fix this.
Part 2
30
Nellie
Now
I can’t believe it; I have a crush.
Arealone, not the pretend thing with Dustin, but the kind that makes my heart feel like it’s gonna burst out of my chest. I feel almost dizzy, almost sick. I haven’t actually felt this way since Thor, back in Sweden. Poor Thor.
But alsofuckThor.
Enough about him. Every inch of my body feels like it’s lit up, electrified, but in a good way.
It’s weird, buteveryonein this house seems to be in a good mood. When I stumbled in, Mom and Dad were still up, even though it’s long after midnight. I was dreading Mom barreling down the stairs, needling me about my curfew, but instead, I was greeted by Dad shooting a Nerf ball from the Nerf gun straight at my butt, hopping around the room like he was some special-ops person.
He’s such a lovable dork—the only man in town who still aims a Nerf gun at his teenage daughter. But anyway, I thoughtto myself,What’s gotten into you?
Then Mom slunk around the corner, wineglass in her hand, laughing at us, at me dodging Dad’s shots. Saying nothing about me being late. A miracle. One that makes me suspicious.
It’s Friday night, and it’s now one a.m., and I’m dancingaround my bedroom, blaring the single that he gave me tonight. “Kiss Off” by the Violent Femmes.
It’s a rough song, loud and crazy. A few secs ago, Mom poked her head in, looked like she was worried about me. But I think evenshecould see the change in me, tell that something good has happened. She finally just shrugged, smiled, and shut the door.
No way I’m telling her about this. Not yet anyway. This is all mine, delicious hard candy in my mouth that I never want to dissolve.
Luke. Luke Napolitano.
That’s his name.
Howsexyis that?
Never mind that he’s connected to Jane, to the Swifts. Even that can’t change the way he made me feel.
It was just a normal night at the Circles. I drove myself, not wanting to get roped into anything with Dustin. Not in the moodto put out.
So I was leaning against my beamer, alone, chain-smoking, sipping on a spiked cherry limeade, when they got there, pulling up in Luke’s red Camaro, windows down, the new INXS album blasting out of the car.
Everyone looked at each other because no one recognized the car.
And then he stepped out.
Tall, lean,foxy, his coal-black hair licking his shoulders, his face telling everyone he doesn’t give a fuck, his torso squeezed into a faded Ramones T-shirt. With his black biker boot, he stubbed out his cigarette, flung his bangs back.
I couldn’t breathe.
We don’t make boys like that in Longview.
