“You’re more serious now.” Her head tilted, her blue eyes sparkling in the fading light. “Don’t get me wrong, I liked theold flirty Wickham. But I also enjoy seeing you like this. Feels more real. We are married, so things should feel that way.”
“Lydia—”
“You said you might not always be there, but every moment when I’ve needed you the past few days, you’ve been there, haven’t you?”
I stared at the clever light in her eyes. I broke eye contact, looking away. “It’s not what you think.”
“What’s not?”
She was so beautiful, and my body warmed to have her so near. I released one of her elbows and directed her toward the side of the lake, steadying her with my hand. “I’ve been ordered to keep an eye on you.”
She blinked. “By who? Your sire? You visited him? Who is he?”
“My compulsion won’t allow me to say. He’s in prison for murder, but even in jail he has resources. He knew about you. Everyone knows about you. Why can’t you see it’s only a matter of time before something happens? I’m bad news, Lydia. Everyone knows it. You need to open your eyes.”
The fairy lights around the lake winked on, casting a soft, warm hue over the ice. Light snow drifted onto the few skaters. One landed on Lydia’s nose, which had become its normalrosy color in the wintry air. All I could think about was how I wanted to pull her close and chase away the cold, but I resisted the urge.
“Lizzy told me what happened between you and Darcy’s sister a couple of years ago at a party,” Lydia said. “How you caught that vampire who was murdering people, but then you broke the sister’s heart by leading her along.”
My stomach twisted, but I wouldn’t correct her. “Then you see what I am.”
“Just so you know, I don’t believe it. I think you did to that girl exactly what you’re doing to me. You pushed her away because you believe you’re too dangerous, not because you don’t care. You’re always looking out for others, George Wickham, but who’s going to watch out for you?”
I felt a little frustrated that she was making this so hard, and yet my heart also warmed at her words. “Lydia, I’m the one who’s dangerous. You don’t need my problems in your life.”
“First off, you have to trust that I can take care of myself.” She released me and pushed back out into the lake.
I spun around and rushed to her side.
“No, it’s okay.” Lydia said, even as she grasped my arm. “Before coming, I took a potion that would ensure I wouldn’t seriously hurt myself. It only lasts for a short time, and I can’tbe like, walking in front of a bullet, but if I’m doing a simple sport, I should be fine.”
I released a breath that was half relief, half exasperation. “You’re clever. I’ll give you that.”
“I’ll take it. Now, second, did your sire command you to rush out onto the ice when you thought I was in danger?”
“What? Of course not.”
“You see, you may have had some bad luck, but you’re actually a good person who cares about people. About me.”
She gasped as she hit a snag and nearly fell. I caught her, wrapping my arms around her, not wanting her to fall despite knowing she wouldn’t get hurt. The snow had picked up and swirled about us like a hundred tiny dancers, twirling in silver silence, enveloping the world in soft, breathless stillness.
What she said made sense, but no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up with danger on my doorstep.
“Does it matter if it’s just bad luck if the results end up being the same?” I asked. It wasn’t as if the people around me had wanted to die. Bad luck was enough to seal their doom.
Her head cocked to the side. “Tell me—how many of the girls you’ve dated have ended up dead?”
“None, but—.”
“None. Hmm, I like those odds.”
This wouldn’t do. She kept talking her way around everything. But I couldn’t let her into my life. No matter how much I wanted to. “I’m a player, Lydia.”
Her jaw squared, and she met my gaze with a challenge in her eyes. “Why are you a player, George?”
“Because I’m terrible at commitment,” I answered.
“You’re too scared to involve anyone in your life because you worry they might get hurt. Just why you asked me for annulment as soon as the last investigation blew over and you knew I was safe.” She wrapped her arms around me, her heat suffusing throughout my body. “Let me help you solve this, and then we can both be free, in whatever way you want.”
