“What is the point of this if we already have way more adoptees than kittens?” I ask, dropping Francine back into the basket only to have her climb out again a second later.
“It’s good exposure,” Mickey insists. “People check back throughout the day for more content, and we’ve got to keep the fans happy. Speaking of, take your shirt off.”
“Fuck no,” I tell him. “These little demons will rip my nipples off.”
“You’ll be fine. I filmed some content the other day and I forgot I was only wearing my boxers. The comment section went bananas. And look, most of my scratches have healed,” he says, proudly showing off his battle scars. “All right, if you’re ready, we’re rolling in three, two, one.”
At his signal, I smile for the camera and grab a string toy just to stir shit up. The kittens go wild, climbing on top of each other to get to the string and it really is adorable. Before Mickey yells cut, though, I reach my hand out to Liza and pull her into the frame. She’s been busy filming additional footage, but I think it’s time she makes her official on-camera debut.
“Real quick, I want to introduce you guys to my girlfriend, Liza. I guess since Mick and I are the grandpas, you can call her Granny.”
“No, you cannot,” she says, looking directly into the camera. “I’m Hazel’s auntie and I like that title just fine.
“That’s not going to work anymore,” Mickey says from his post behind the camera. “The auntie and the grandpa can’t be sleeping together. It feels incestuous. Granny and Grandpa can screw, though. That’s fine.”
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting anyone call me Granny, just so we’re clear.” she says, putting a hand on her hip. I want to smack that sweet ass right now, but I’ll save that move until we’re done filming. This is a family-friendly account after all. Well, kinda.
“How about Me-Maw? Does that work for you?”
“Do you like your balls?” she asks.
I bite back a laugh “Very much so.” I happen to know she loves them, too, but I’ll still take Me-Maw off the list.”Ooh, maybe we should put it to a vote.”
“I like that idea,” Mickey says. “Put your ideas in the comments and we’ll post a poll later today.”
“I’ve got an even better idea. Why don’t the cats—who can’t actually talk—just call me Liza. It is my name, you know.”
Mickey vetoes that suggestion right away, but truthfully, I don’t care what name we decide on. I’m just glad as hell that I get to call Liza DeWalt my girlfriend.
The End
