“I didn’t expect to miss him this much. We’ve only been friends a few months, but he wove his way into every part of my life and now I think of him every time I freaking turn around, and that is completely unfair. I was right to break up with him. What he did was shitty. Beyond shitty. And I deserve so much better than that. But you know what really sucks? He is better than that. He’s proving every damn day that one stupid hour in a restaurant was an anomaly, and I kind of hate him for that. I kind of love it, too.”
“Look, you won’t get any argument from me. I’m not shy about being Team Blue. And you were one hundred percent right to call him out on his bullshit at The Gatehouse. It was cowardly, and that’s not the Blue I’ve come to know. I guess the real question is, can you risk your heart again?”
I flop back against the plush leather of the couch and turn my head toward the ceiling. “That is a very good question, and one I’m not sure I have the answer to. I mean, I grew up knowing that some men aren’t reliable. That they can’t be trusted. Mydad was a no-show in my life and even though I’m better off for it, that didn’t make things easier at the time. So, yeah, one one hand, it’s easy to lump Blue into that club of entitled rich guys whose specialty is letting people down.”
“But on the other hand,” Bridgette says, smiling because she’s completely biased and has no shame.
“On the other hand, I wonder if maybe he just had a day pass to that club. A one-time membership. Because he never acted like that before, and he certainly hasn’t since. If we’re purely looking at data?—”
“Oh, yes, we should always look at data when discussing matters of the heart,” she teases.
“Exactly,” I say, defending myself. “The data shows the evening at the restaurant to be an outlier. And that leads me to conclude that maybe a second chance is appropriate. If he wants one.”
“If he—” she says, unable to keep from laughing. “The man is auditioning on the daily for the role of devoted boyfriend. Yes, I think he wants a second chance.”
“Well, if he keeps playing his cards right, he just might get one.”
34
Blue
“Next stop, Regionals!” Ollie releases a howl in the locker room before doing an imitation of a choo-choo train all around the perimeter of the locker room. The man is unhinged, and I wouldn’t have him any other way. He brings me in for a back-clapping hug as he screeches “All aboard!” and damn near blasts my ear drum. I can’t be mad, though. We swept the ice with Mountville, and we’re headed to Albany in two weeks. After that, we’ll be Vegas bound. I have no doubts. Hell, Ollie and Fallon will probably want to renew their vows while we’re there.
It’s going to be a hell of a ride, and I can’t wait. But while my teammates are celebrating, I have something else on my mind. Or more accurately, someone else. Who am I kidding? Liza’s been front and center in brain for months now. Things are decidedly less frosty these days than they were two weeks ago, but I haven’t taken the leap. I’ve ben too fucking scared. We’ve been stuck in a limbo of my own making because even though I know I’m re-earning her trust, I’m terrified that I haven’t convinced her yet. When I asked her out the first time, back at the winter carnival, I was pretty damn confident she'd say yes. The stakes weren’t as high then. Now I know what falling forsomeone feels like. I know what heartbreak feels like. I know what love feels like.
Our eyes meet across the crowded room and even though I’m dying to go to her and lay it all out there, I also know she’s technically still at work, and I don’t want to mess with that.
And yeah, we had sex in the penalty box once, but that was different. She wasn’t on the clock.
“Are you having regrets?” Mickey asks, moving into the cubby next to me and stripping down to his bare ass, despite the fact that there are reporters with cameras twenty feet away.
“You’re going to have to be more specific, man,”
“Tonight was a prime opportunity for you to win Liza’s heart back. There’s even a freaking balloon arch in the lobby. We totally could have borrowed it. They even have red balloons with little tiny hearts on them. Talk about perfect”
“Isn’t that for the organ donation group? I’m not quite sure that’s the vibe we’re going for.”
“Your loss,” he says, shrugging and wrapping a towel around his waist.”I’m just saying, you kinda look like a sad sack over here. And you haven’t been yourself lately. Hazel and Doug have noticed it, too. They didn’t want to bring it up, but I feel like I’ve gotta be honest with you. You’re a lovesick puppy, my dude. And believe me, from one lovelorn fool to another, take my advice and do something about it.”
It suddenly hits me that Mickey gets a bad rap. Most of the guys love him, but he’s famous for being too loud, too energetic, and too damn crazy. And all of those things are true. But he’s got the biggest heart of anybody I know, and the man is fucking wise. Don’t tell him I said that, but it’s true.
“Thanks, pal,” I say, clapping him on the back before I make my way across the room. It takes a while because the energy in here is cranked up and I’ve got guys hugging me and high-fiving me from every direction. When I finally make it to the storageroom, I panic for a second when I don't see Liza. My heart rate returns to the normal range when I see her over by the laundry bins. What the hell. This is where it all started, right? So it might as well be where I shoot my shot.
“Good game,” she says, not bothering to look up at me from the pile of clean towels she’s folding.
“Yeah, thanks,” I say. “And I’m glad you brought it up. Because, you know, I’m definitely back here to talk to you about the game.”
“What else would we have to talk about?” she asks, unable to keep the flirtatious tone out of her voice.
“There’s a whole fucking lot we could talk about. And even more that we could do, especially once these guys finally go the hell home. But first, there’s something I need to say to you.’
She starts to shake her head. “You’ve already apologized, Blue and it’s?—”
“I love you,” I say, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her face. “I love you because you are incredible. You are smart, and talented, and beautiful, and so fucking wise. You’re everything I never knew I wanted, and I think you should know how I feel. You don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t have to say it. You don’t even have to feel it. But I love you.”
I’ve never been this vulnerable with another human being in my life. It’s all on the line right now and she’s got the power to stomp my overly large ego to smithereens, but it doesn’t matter. The truth is the truth. And my truth is that I love Liza DeWalt.
This locker room behind us is buzzing with people, and the washers and dryers in this room are far from quiet. But my whole world goes quiet as I wait for her reply.
