He rubs his hands across my back and presses a kiss to my forehead. I can smell his shower gel and cologne. I can feel his heart beating. I could tilt my face up right now and press a kiss to his sinfully sexy lips. I could let my hands wander over his body. I could try like hell to bring him the same kind of pleasure he just brought me. I want to do all of that, but this is Blue.
This is Blue.
What am I doing? I’m not some girl at a frat party, and he’s not some guy.
I’m the equipment manager.
And I’m at work.
And he’s my least favorite person in the tri-state area.
My head starts pounding as my brain begins to process the last half hour of my life, but that task is impossible because none of this makes sense.
I can’t be here in Blue’s arms.
I can’t be a quivering, post-orgasmic mess.
I can’t be another one of his conquests.
Without another thought, I peel myself away from him, reaching for the edge of the shelf to steady myself.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks, looking as bewildered as I feel.
I should probably take a breath and unravel all the thoughts tangled up in my head. I should answer his question, and talk this out rationally. But those feel like impossible choices, so I look into the eyes of the man who just gave me the best orgasmof anyone’s life ever, and I tell him the thought that’s running on a loop in my mind. “This never happened,” I say, taking a step back.
“What? Of course it did. And it was fucking incredible. And?—”
I’m shaking my head vigorously as he speaks. “And we can never speak of it again. Wipe it from your memory. Pretend it was all a fever dream. I don’t know, Blue, but this was?—”
“Un-fucking-believable? Explosive? About to live in my head, rent-free for eternity?”
“A mistake,” I volley back. “An incredibly pleasurable, mind-blowing mistake,” I say, grabbing a basket of laundry and heading for the wash room. When I’m safely inside, I shut the door and lock it.
If only it were that easy to block him—and what we just did—out of my brain.
9
Blue
The locker room erupts into utter chaos when Ollie jumps on a bench, rips his sweaty jersey off his back, tosses it across the room, and tips his head toward the ceiling to unleash a victory howl that probably has every dog in the county whining right now.
But the team eats it up.
Guys are cheering and clapping each other on the back. Even my bestie, Dutton, has a smile on his face. Our win against Coleridge was hard fought and we came out on top. That’s something to be proud of, considering their lineup is now stacked with some of the best new talent in men’s college hockey. Their two best rookie players, Dobrev and Weimer, are headed for the draft next summer, and they’re hoping to do it after securing a national title. We’re not going to let that happen, though, and we proved as much tonight. That’s why everyone’s in such a good mood.
Except me.
And it’s sure as hell not because I’m secretly a fan of the Sabres. Fuck no. My loyalty is to Bainbridge and the guys on theteam, which is the reason I spent a few shifts in the penalty box tonight.
As a defenseman, I take my job seriously. There’s technically no fighting allowed at this level, but it’s really only fighting if you get caught. At least, that’s my philosophy. And I make a point of never getting caught. Tonight, though, I got a little sloppy, and I’m pissed at myself. Luckily, it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. If anything, I left Dobrev rattled enough to make a few mistakes that turned out in our favor. Still, I’m in a shitty mood because my focus isn’t where it needs to be, and I know I’ve got to get my shit together before we take the ice against the Sabres again tomorrow night.
“You good?” Dutton asks, settling beside me on the bench.
I grunt in response. I’m a big guy and I’ve manspread enough that I shouldn’t have to share my bench with anyone. It’s my bench, dammit. But my best friend just plopped down next to me and started unlacing his skates, so I know he gives zero fucks about how territorial I’m being right now.
“I’m great,” I lie.
Sparky just laughs. It’s a rusty sound because the guy has no sense of humor, but it’s a laugh all the same.
