My admission feels like a ton of lead being tied to my ankles, and the truth is a vast, dark ocean that’s swallowing me whole.
Creed strokes my neck with his hands, his thumbs lightly brushing beneath my ears. “I don’t need the old Collins back. I just need my girl as she is now. You’re so goddamned strong, and truthfully, I have no fucking clue how you do it.” That signature smirk pulls so tight that a dimple pops in one cheek as he dips his head and brushes his nose against mine. “I loved you then, and I only love you more now.” He closes the distance and kisses me before I can properly process his words. He smiles against my lips when he pulls back. “You’re kind of my hero, baby.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I give him a watery smile. “Say it again.”
Creed’s eyes search mine. “You’re kind of my hero?—”
“No.” I laugh quietly “The other part.”
His smile stops my heart. “I love you, Stardust.”
I grip his wrists in each of my hands, closing my eyes. “Again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you so fucking much, Collins,” he whispers roughly, pressing his forehead against mine.
My lashes flutter open, and I look into the eyes of the man who has held my heart for longer than he knows.
“I love you, too, Creed,” I tell him, meaning the words with every fiber of my being. I press my lips to his, pouring every ounce of love I harbor for him into the kiss. “For more and longer than you could possibly imagine.”
“Fuck,baby,” he rasps against my lips, his forehead rocking back and forth. His grip on my face tightens fractionally, and he swallows hard. “You have no idea how I’ve been longing to hear those words from you.”
A small chuckle bursts from my lips as I run my nails down along the lines of his arms. “You would’ve heard them a lot sooner, but you told me not to say them yet.”
I can see the moment the hospital memories flash through his mind because his eyes go distant and his expression sobers up. A wave of sadness and trepidation take over, and it’s so unlike Creed that it catches me by surprise.
“I didn’t believe I deserved to hear them back then.” He shrugs, taking half a step back, dropping his hands to the tops of my knees. “I’m still not even sure if I deserve them, but I’m fucking selfish, and now, I can’t get enough of hearing it from your lips.”
My face falls as sorrow pierces my heart for the man before me. What I went through was a fucking unimaginable nightmare, but I can’t even begin to imagine what it felt like for him. He fought so hard to keep me safe, and I’ve seen the way he and my brother punish themselves for feeling like they failed Riley and me. For the first time, I can see the demons he’s barely keeping at bay. The trauma he endured and continues to fight against every day.
This incredible man has been fighting to maintain this happy, flawless facade, keeping every bit of pain and internal struggle a closely kept secret. My heart twists and aches for him, that he’s been shouldering it alone.
“You saved me,” I say, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Every day, you save me.” I swallow thickly, my eyes welling up with tears. “But who saves you?”
Creed heaves a sudden breath, the sound incredulous as he tips his head back, blinking rapidly. As if he can’t believe I asked the question. It’s not mockery, but disbelief.
“You silly, silly fucking girl.” He turns his misty eyes on me. “Yousave me. Riley saves me. Shit, even Asher and Blair save me. Seeing all of you—my people—under my roof, smiling, laughing, and fucking destroying my kitchen with questionable meals?” We both laugh at that. “That’swhat saves me. Shit gets heavy in here sometimes,” he says, tapping two fingers against his temple. “But your joy makes it go away.”
“Shit,baby.” I laugh and cry at the same time, using the tip of my finger to dab at my watery eyes. “This makeup isnotwaterproof, and I’m too hungry for Riley’s pancakes to redo it. Please, don’t make me cry.” I laugh again, pulling him back into me and pressing my face into his neck. I breathe him in and refuse to let this swell of emotions ruin my minimal makeup. I pull back and look up at him with a smile that feels like genuine happiness. “You know, I don’t feel strong most of the time, but I’m trying. Having my favorite people around me? Having…family?That’s what pushes me to get better. Stronger. That’s what I want to be for you. For Ri.”
“All I need you to be is exactly who you are, cracks and all. We just need us.”
“We need us,” I echo on a grainy whisper as he leans down to kiss me softly.
A soft knock on the bathroom door pulls our attention to a red-faced Riley standing in the doorway with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He’s looking very intently at my face because Creed is still standing so proudly naked in front of me. He turns his head to glance over his shoulder, and it’s just then that I get my first real glimpse of Riley’s side profile.
Today is the first day he’ll be going out in public without some kind of bandage to cover his scars and his ear.
God, he’s beautiful.
“Fuck yeah, he is,” Creed answers, and my own face flames up when I realize I’ve said it out loud. He turns to Riley then, his semi-hard cock straining for freedom as he rewraps his towel around his waist. Taking my hands, he helps me to hop down from the counter. “Breakfast ready?”
“As it can be,” Riley murmurs sheepishly, but it turns into a soft moan when Creed leans in and sinks his teeth into his neck.
“You smell like chocolate chips.” Creed groans, tugging me along while backing the three of us into the room. “You’ve got to taste him, Stardust. I think he tastes just as sweet, too.”
