His brows crease in confusion, a little worry lingering there. “Weird how?”
“I’m relieved that I’m finally home, but sometimes this reality feels more like a dream. That fever and infection really did a number on my brain, so I find myself confused sometimes. I don’t dissociate like Collins does, not really, but sometimes I get lost in my head when I start to overthink the authenticity of my surroundings.”
Collins lays a delicate hand on top of my clasped fists, the gesture a silent acknowledgement. I shift just enough to drag a shaky thumb over the marks on top of my wrists before lifting one hand to stroke the tips of my fingers over the gunshot wound in my shoulder. Then, I stand and turn around, giving the two of them a view of the tender remnants of the skin on my back, my freckles disconnected by what seems to be thousands of cuts and lacerations from being dragged on my back across the pavement. I leave my hat where it is on my head, not because I know they’ve already seen those scars, but because I’m still insecure about them.
“As much as I hate what…he’sdone to me, these scars are a reminder that I’m here. That I’m fuckingfree.” I draw in a shaky breath when I feel the tips of fingers brush over my scars. “Which is weird to me, because sometimes I feel as if I should still be back there in that room.”
What I don’t say is how sometimes I think I deserve to be there.
I endangered her by insisting on taking her out in public. It got us recognized and ultimately caught. That’s on me, and it eats at me from the moment I wake, then continues in my dreams when I finally fall asleep.
“I know that feeling,” Collins rasps, appearing next to me once more as she leans one hip against the railing.
I feel Creed’s forehead press against my spine right at the base of my neck as he wraps one hand around my middle and one across the expanse of my chest. I shiver as they deftly brushover the scar near my shoulder in the tiniest tremble in his touch.
“It won’t always feel like this,” he whispers, then places a tender kiss to the back of my neck. Collins leans in and presses her lips to my shoulder before laying her head there, just as she had before. She wraps one arm around me on top of Creed’s, and closes in on the cuddle puddle when her other arm bands around Creed’s back.
She releases a breath, then whispers, “It may feel weird now, but we will never let you get lost.”
She raises her head to look at me and I lock eyes with her. She’s so goddamned beautiful that it makes my stomach flip. Lifting up onto her toes, she places a featherlight kiss to my jaw before looking out at the beautiful scenery before us.
“See us,” She starts, and I smile.
“Feel us,” Creed continues, placing a kiss to my cheek before shifting to rest his chin atop my opposite shoulder.
I close my eyes for a moment before opening them just as the sun peeks over the top of the trees, a warm breeze forcing them to sway back and forth.
“We are real.”
The three of us stand there for a long moment, just soaking in the feeling of being together all at once. The beauty of it all feels an awful lot like peace. Likehope.
Then, Collins stomach growls loud, and just like that, the moment transforms when Creed laughs and says, “Somebody’s hungry,” before releasing me to scoop her up. She squeaks as she wraps her legs around his waist, the three of us exiting the balcony and leaving the room. “Let’s get you two fed, yeah?”
“What sounds good for breakfast, Ri?” Collins asks, watching me over Creed’s shoulder.
I shrug, not very hungry but knowing I need to eat something. “Whatever my girl wants.”
She blushes, and I love the way it makes her freckles pop. She bites the tip of her finger, her gaze turning heated as she looks me up and down. “I think what I want isn’t on the breakfast menu.”
Creed chokes a laugh, stopping at the top of the stairs. “What—” He turns to look at me and bites his lip. “Oh, no. That’s more like dessert, Stardust.”
I frown, confused. Looking down, I curse, realizing I’m still in nothing but my boxers. Tugging my hat down to hide my embarrassment, I mutter, “Be right back.”
Creed’s laughter chases me down the hall before he yells, “Don’t take too long! I’ve got a surprise for you!”
My heart rate kicks up at that. I never expect anything from these two, but the thought of receiving a surprise from Creed has my curiosity piqued.
Entering the room again, I step back out onto the balcony to grab my journal. I throw on some joggers and a shirt in no time and pause on my way out the door when my eyes catch on the picture of Creed and Collins that I taped to the front of the notebook.
Flipping it open, I read over the last thing I wrote just minutes ago.
I want to feel worthy of their love again.
I brush my thumb over the words etched into the page, my mind replaying the quiet moment between the three of us outside. Though I feel undeserving, I can’t deny howrightit feels to be a part of them. My written words hold so much truth. Iwantto feel worthy. I just don’t know how. Suddenly, an idea sparks, catching me completely by surprise. Creativity like this hasn’t happened since before Collins and I were captured.Unease and doubt are replaced with a hopeful sort of longing as my thoughts unfold into something new.
Unable to help myself, I swipe the pen from the side table and sit at the end of the bed, my heart and my mind soaring as I let the shaky lyrics flow onto the page.
Chapter 24
