“What kind of test?”My question is almost audible as it passes my lips, and my heart starts to race again. What kind of test requires patient consent?
“Given the bruising and bleeding we found on your upper thighs and perineal area, I believe it wise to perform a SAEK test,” he declares. Immediately, the blood drains from my face and I feel faint. A SAEK.Sexual Assault Evidence Kit.
Creed goes deathly still when I don’t immediately protest.
And just like that, I’m no longer in the hospital room, but back to being tied down to that dirty bed with Guy hovering over me, that sick, sadistic smile painted on his face. I can hear Riley’s cries for mercy, I can feel Guy’sassaulting fingers tearing me from the inside out as he forced the scream from my body.
Breaths saw in and out of my burning lungs, and I feel as if I’ll pass out as flashes of my time in that place play on a loop in my mind.
“Collins!” I hear Creed calling my name and another voice speaking to him…the doctor?
My world slowly tilts as the bed shifts beneath me. “Get her feet up and elevated. I’ll grab a wet washcloth.” The doctor's words sound extremely muffled, but hearing him and Creed work together helps to ground me.
“Breathe, baby,” Creed commands, soft yet firm. So I do, shakily. “That’s it,” he croons, “that’s my girl.”
The cold dampness of the cloth presses against my forehead; the sensation is both shocking and welcome. I focus on my senses again, breathing in sync with Creed until the world slowly comes back into focus. I hate the look in his eyes. Sadness. Pity. I understand why he feels this way, but I was strong enough to survive and yet that physical strength is outshined by the weakness of my mind.
The doctor shuffles around, checking my vitals and asking various questions before Creed helps me to sit again. I know the question is still lingering in the air, so I look the doctor in the eye and fight the urge to hide my face as I speak.
“I don’t need a kit. I know exactly what he did to me,”I mutter quietly, with as much strength as I can muster, squeezing my hands into fists until the sting of my nails bite into my palm. I refuse to look at Creed, whose eyes bore so intensely into the side of my skull that I can feel their heat searing me. I swallow,my throat tight.“I wasn’t…he—he didn’t…”I sigh, not wanting to say the words out loud.“It was by his hand.”
Dr. Munn nods and makes a note in my file before looking back to me. “Do you have any pain or discomfort?” I try not to squirm as I nod. Another scribble on paper. “I think a physical exam would be beneficial to check for tears or injury. Do you consent?”
I’m fucking sick of being poked and prodded and cut and tortured. I’m tired of unwanted touches and being left in vulnerable positions. But I know I can’t risk an injury like this, so I reluctantly nod.
He explains the process as he preps and asks if I’d like some privacy for the exam. Meaning, do I want Creed to leave. I shake my head and reach for him. Creed takes my hand, silently fuming the entire time despite his comforting touch, but he remains silent as he waits for the doctor to finish. He tells me that there is some mild internal irritation, but otherwise, I look okay. Shame floods my body, taking over until it’s all I can feel, but I swallow the emotion, trying to put on my brave face.
He goes over each of my wounds that require medical attention and the proper care for them. Dr. Munn leaves, but his short visit has me so physically exhausted that I can hardly keep my eyes open. But I fight to stay up because I’m still terrified that when I wake, this will all have been a dream, that the safety I feel right now in Creed’s arms will be ripped from me.
I scoot over, making room for Creed as he carefully settles in beside me while I wrap myself around him as much as I can with all the tubes and wires still attached to me. Burying my nose in his neck, he places a kiss on my temple before pressing his cheek to the top of my head.
“Sleep, my sweet stardust,” he whispers. “Asher will be here later tonight to see you. I’m going to check on Riley once Ash gets here, before I find my dad and talk to him.” He chuckles, hisfingers stroking my arms around each cut and bruise carefully. “You have so many people who can’t wait to meet you and see your pretty face again, especially the rest of the crew.”
“Okay,”I mouth, even though he can’t see it. The thought of seeing my family and friends again ignites the tiny spark of life that had remained hidden within my heart as a soothing warmth floods my body. I don’t want to let him go, but knowing that he’ll be with our Riley, doting on him much like he is with me brings a sense of comfort I haven’t felt in so long.
“I’ll get to see Riley soon, right?” The rhythm of his heart thudding beneath my palm pulls me deeper into the darkness of sleep before I hear his answer.
Chapter 10
Collins
“ALRIGHT. MAKE ME PRETTY LIKE YOU.”
The last thing I expected to see when I woke up was Asher curled up sleeping on the couch across the room…with his head nestled in Blair’s lap. Or for Blair’s hand to be buried in my brother’s hair, massaging his scalp while the other is resting so casually across Ash’s back, his black painted nails lightly running over the tiny patch of skin exposed just above his jeans.
It confuses me because Asher’s had such an aversion to affection ever since Dani took his heart and soul and shoved them through a meat grinder. The look on Blair’s face as he watches Asher can only be described as love. What kind of love? I have no clue, but seeing my brother look so at peace and comfortable with Blair is so intimate that I feel like I’m the one intruding on this quiet moment.
Makes me feel bad when my IV pump starts to beep annoyingly, and the vitals machine begins humming loudly as it takes my blood pressure–the noises startle me, which startles the boys across the room as they both scramble to their feet.
Righting himself, the soft blue of my brother’s eyes meets mine, and he doesn’t waste another moment, rushing over to me when I offer a small smile and hold my arms out to him.I’m instantly engulfed in Asher’s embrace, and I sink into his warmth. A second later, another set of arms wraps around the two of us, and it brings another smile to my face. We all sit in an emotionally charged silence as I cling to them, using each of my senses like Creed had encouraged me to do, reassuring myself that this is real. That they’re really here.
I pull back and look at my brother. Just like Creed, he looks so tired. His dark blonde hair is a mess on top of his head, and he’s nearly got a full beard now, compared to the last time I saw him. He smiles, but I can tell it’s forced based on the haunted look lingering in his eyes.
I just sit there, looking at him, willing his facade to crack. I can’t stand the pity and fake smiles. It makes me feel fragile, and Asher knows more than anyone just how much I hate that. Luckily, I don’t have to wait long before he takes a shuddering breath and his eyes well with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Bug,” he breathes, his voice breaking around my old nickname. I shake my head in protest, but he shakes his own in a silent argument before looking away. “I failed you, Collins. In the worst fucking way, I broke my oath to protect you always and he fucking took you. Right out from under my goddamned nose. I wasn’t careful enough. I should’ve—should’ve done more,” he gasps, out of breath from the words falling from his lips. He swipes a hand back and forth over his mouth, before meeting my eyes once more. “I should’ve done more. Why didn’t I do more?”
Blair is quick to wrap an arm around Asher and squeezes, pecking a barely-there kiss to his shoulder before murmuring something into his ear that only he can hear. He tries to shake his head again, but Blair gives him another firm squeeze. Something in Asher deflates, his body physically relaxing before me.
